eruthros: Delenn from Babylon 5 with a startled expression and the text "omg!" (BtVS cheeseman nonsense)
[personal profile] eruthros
In which [livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings and I finally realize the TRUTH about the scifi channel's monster movies. The horrifying, Philip-K-Dickian truth.

[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: Oh man, I just learned that Bruce Boxleitner is in a scifi original picture called "snakehead terror" in which there are evil SNAKEHEAD FISH. Presumably they look like snakes.

[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: oh, oh, I knew that!
[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: remember? I told you about that
[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: when I found it on IMDB one time
[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: when I was looking up B5 actors

[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: I remembered you'd told me he was in a giant snake film
[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: I had not realized that they were MUTATED SNAKEFISH

[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: hahahaha
[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: well, that's the scifi channel
[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: always stepping it up a notch

[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: TRUE
[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: This is an amazing list. It really indicates why they're having ratings issues.
[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: S.S. Doomtrooper! ("a 2006 made-for-TV science fiction movie starring Corin Nemec, in which a mutated Nazi supersoldier (which is blue, has glowing veins, can generate electrical radiation as a weapon, has greatly enhanced strength and size, and is a mindless monster) fights against Allied troops during World War II")
[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: Locusts: The 8th Plague.
[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: FRANKENFISH.

[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: like, it seems like it's just as well they're not calling themselves scifi anymore
[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: because they have a very different idea of what that means than I do

[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: I can't believe that the scifi channel got TWO original films out of the invasive snakehead fish incident in ... whenever, 2003 or so.

[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: also, are all SG-franchise actors contractually obligated to do a bad scifi original monster flick?

[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: they must be!
[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: It's like "if we renew your show..."

[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: "you have to sacrifice one of your actors on the altar of bad scifi movies. WHO WILL IT BE!"
[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: Richard Dean Anderson pushes Corin Nemec forward

[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: by the seventh season renewal, however, that is not a big enough sacrifice
[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: and Michael Shanks must go!

[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: right
[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: everyone hugs him and tells him it'll be alright
[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: they'll get through this together
[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: but when he comes back, he's different
[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: more subdued, somehow

[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: the scifi channel paid for a recent B5 movie, which is probably how they got their hooks into Bruce Boxleitner.
[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: and they try to get him to talk about it

[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: aha!
[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: they're so crafty

[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: or to not talk about it, just have an ice cream or something
[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: but nothing seems to work!

[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: maybe they've formed a support group

[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: David Hewlett, otoh, is so GGG that he volunteers even before the first episode of SGA

[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: hahahahahaha
[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: OH GOD
[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: it's so horrifyingly true

[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: ISN'T IT? ISN'T IT?

[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: I can't even deal!

[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: And everyone on the Atlantis set is all "what's up with that Hewlett guy? doesn't he seem kinda weird to you?"
[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: but they didn't know him BEFORE
[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: so they don't know how he's been CHANGED by it

[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: right!
[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: later, Joe and Rachel and Jason and Torri all learn the truth
[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: when the SG1 people do episodes on their show
[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: Christopher Judge is like, "You have to know something"

[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: of course it's Chris Judge

[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: "I have to tell you this so that you can avoid the same awful fate"

[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: and he draws JFlan aside

[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: it is! He saw what happened to Michael Shanks
[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: and Corin Nemec

[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: they used to be BEST FRIENDS, Chris and Michael

[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: Corin Nemec became a SCIENTOLOGIST!

[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: It's a sad story.

[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: really it is.

[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: sometimes, the SCIFI ptb come in looking for someone
[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: anyone
[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: and they grab that guy and ship him off to Bulgaria

[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: in the middle of the night

[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: and the writers just carefully write around it

[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: big burly guys with tasers come to their trailer

[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: they don't want to anger the powers that be, lest they be required to write a giant snakehead fish film

[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: ha, indeed
[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: that is the fate that awaits all failed SG-franchise writers

[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: and, yeah, big burly guys with tasers
[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: and there's screaming off in the distance, and everyone pretends not to hear, because they know: there's nothing you can do
[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: Michael Shanks tried to get out any way he could!
[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: He even QUIT THE SHOW!

[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: he tried to quit the show!
[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: yes!
[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: that's why Corin Nemec had to take his place initially
[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: in the Great Snake Movie Sacrifice

[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: but then he was somehow brought back -- he doesn't know how, but one day, he suddenly becomes aware of the fact that he is sitting in his trailer, just like he'd never left
[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: and a DeLuise is knocking on the door
[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: "Michael? There's someone here from the network to see you."

[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: "He says you owe them something."
[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: man, this whole theory is just so plausible
[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: I almost want to write it up as an action-paranoia-thriller
[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings: and sell it to scifi

Date: 2009-03-17 08:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] toft-froggy.livejournal.com
*SCREAMS*

Oh man, now I'm actually reieved that SGA was cancelled. Maybe Rachel Luttrell and Jason Momoa will make it out unscathed. For the CHILDREN.

Date: 2009-03-17 11:37 pm (UTC)
ext_2496: (Default)
From: [identity profile] aelfgyfu-mead.livejournal.com
You know, of all the people I can think of who have done SciFi movies-of-the-week...I can't think of any who weren't white. Rachel Luttrell and Jason Momoa might be safe, ironically.

Of course, I'm probably forgetting people, and there would go my whole theory.

Date: 2009-03-17 08:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] isagel.livejournal.com
I almost want to write it up as an action-paranoia-thriller
and sell it to scifi


This needs to be done, you know that, right?

Date: 2009-03-17 11:09 pm (UTC)
ext_2068: (Default)
From: [identity profile] seticat.livejournal.com
I agree. It *seriously* needs to be done.

Date: 2009-03-17 08:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] copperbadge.livejournal.com
I wholeheartedly believe that Scifi would buy that script, and probably spend half a year's publicity budget on it.

It would star Bill Mumy.

Poor bastard never had a chance.

Date: 2009-03-17 11:04 pm (UTC)
ext_230: a tiny green frog on a very red leaf (Default)
From: [identity profile] anatsuno.livejournal.com
qshgkfjhsdkgh!! YES, YES.

Date: 2009-03-17 11:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mirabile-dictu.livejournal.com
HAHAHA! Oh my god, this is TRUE, isn't it? Oh my god, it explains so very much . . .

Date: 2009-03-17 11:38 pm (UTC)
ext_2496: (Default)
From: [identity profile] aelfgyfu-mead.livejournal.com
S.S. Doomtrooper! ("a 2006 made-for-TV science fiction movie starring Corin Nemec, in which a mutated Nazi supersoldier (which is blue, has glowing veins, can generate electrical radiation as a weapon, has greatly enhanced strength and size, and is a mindless monster) fights against Allied troops during World War II")
I saw part of that! It was actually funny, for a few minutes.

Then it just wasn't anymore.

I felt so bad for Corin Nemec!

Date: 2009-03-17 11:39 pm (UTC)
aurora: (Default)
From: [personal profile] aurora
[info]thingswithwings: they'll get through this together
[info]thingswithwings: but when he comes back, he's different
[info]thingswithwings: more subdued, somehow

OH GOD.


(This thriller should absolutely exist!)

Date: 2009-03-18 12:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rheanna27.livejournal.com
This is worryingly plausible.

I am now thinking that the real reason SGA was cancelled was because the entire cast banded together and refused to sacrifice one of their number to the horrors of Mansquito 3: Revenge of the Larvoids.

Date: 2010-03-25 05:03 am (UTC)
cesare: x-ray of skull and spine (x-ray)
From: [personal profile] cesare
I am now thinking that the real reason SGA was cancelled was because the entire cast banded together and refused to sacrifice one of their number to the horrors of Mansquito 3: Revenge of the Larvoids.

Probably not. Hewlett is in Bulgaria right now doing something for SyFy, and with a little IMDb detective work, [personal profile] lucitania suspects that he may be making Lake Placid 3: The Killer Crocodile Terror Continues Further. D:

Date: 2009-03-18 02:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pocky_slash.livejournal.com
A+++ would read this post again! I don't normally read RPF, but I would sell a kidney to read an epic fic of this.

Also, um, I had SS Doomstrooper on my DVR for an embarrassingly long time. I LOVE THESE MOVIES, OKAY? Oh my god, that one was hilarious. I also love the one that Nykl was in with the Pterodactyl. I think that one was my favorite before I even started watching SGA.

Date: 2009-03-18 07:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] livrelibre.livejournal.com
This explains everything and I need this thriller in my liiife! Slightly OT, but there was Cinematic Titanic playing while I was on vacation and I missed it! I think this calls for beer and Boa vs. Python (after I clean).

Date: 2010-03-25 05:05 am (UTC)
cesare: Winged Teyla flies overhead while jealous John cries (sga - flying teyla by chkc)
From: [personal profile] cesare
I almost want to write it up as an action-paranoia-thriller
and sell it to scifi


LOLLL. Use the character names/basic personalities, and this would make an amazing crossover AU.

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eruthros: Delenn from Babylon 5 with a startled expression and the text "omg!" (Default)
eruthros

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