eruthros: Delenn from Babylon 5 with a startled expression and the text "omg!" (BtVS cheeseman nonsense)
There should be a post-war radio drama based on the double-crossing adventures of Severus Snape titled "Only the Shadow Nose." Featuring, of course, Severus Snape as the Shadow Nose, always poking into dark business where he didn't belong.

If there were posters, they'd be of a looming dark figure in a cloak under a streetlight casting a long shadow with a giant nose.

That is all.
eruthros: Delenn from Babylon 5 with a startled expression and the text "omg!" (BtVS cheeseman nonsense)
As near as I can tell, this headline makes exactly no sense: "Wal-Mart warns on profits target." And it's a bbc.co.uk headline, yet! (I can work out what they mean based on the article -- blah blah Walmart thinks it'll be below expected profits blah -- but.)

In recent story summaries that I've received on hpfanficrecs (the things that get recced make me wince) or have seen while browsing, we have the following:

"There's no Harry Potter,but Avernus Noir.Harry had been neglected since his sister was the Girl Who Lived.At four,Harry had been kicked out of his home because a baby.Adopted by the Noir family, Harry attended Hogwarts when he was 15.Vote!Poll Inside."

I do not understand this at all. He was kicked out of the Potter family because a baby... what? Was born? Hung out? Taught salsa dancing? And then he was adopted, and then was ... a late admission to Hogwarts? Students of non-traditional age?

***

"Ranma Soatome hasn't been feeling to well lately. He's been breaking out into fevers and even having fainting spells. But the end result just might make him the new student of Hogwarts."

This may well be my favorite ridiculous crossover EVER. I quote the first paragraph:
"Voldermort was sitting in his chair. He tried to get close to Harry to kill him but was too unknowingly well protected. Stupid undercover Auras. Voldermort considered himself the most powerful wizard ever but even he had his limitations. Question was: what was he going to do?"
... Soatome! Voldermort! As near as I parse the second sentence, Voldermort was unknowingly well protected, which rendered him unable to kill Harry! And my favorite: undercover Auras! *dies laughing*

***

"Touch is heaven and hell, pain and relief. Touch is deliberately caused. Or not? Can you distinguish love from hate, lust from indifference in the touch? Sometimes you don't seem to know at all; can't judge coincidence from intention; can't trust yourself. You can only give in and let the fingers burn you, brand you, own you."

... oookay. The story is actually decent; the author just needs to get someone else to write summaries. Because "Touch is deliberately caused. Or not?" is just too giggle-worthy for words.

***

"This is about Harry in his 6th year. it corresponds with 'What Goes Around, Comes Around.' it's going to be funny. i know i made the first chapter really suck, but that's life. it'll get better. i promise!(crossees fingers:even though i suck at writing!)"

I have no words. None.

***

"Tom Riddle, a name associated with fear, darkness, and unimaginable evil and power. Yet there was one who knew something else. One who watched quietly in the background as a greatevil grew. This is the story of Aurelia Hymes... the girl who loved Tom Riddle"

Shouldn't that say "... the girl who was a Mary Sue?" And this was RECCED, people. RECCED. I quote the first paragraph:
"He watched her, and studied her every movement - the way her blonde curls glimmered in the light, and the way her green eyes shone with feisty passion as she continued working, her eyes narrowing in concentration. As he watched her, sitting across from him, as a fierce hunger that he had never known rose to its climax. Tom Riddle had a crush, whether he liked it or not. Perhaps, he mused, watching her as a smile curled upon his lips, he was in love."
Notice the sentence fragment. Notice the word "feisty." Are non-MSs ever described as "feisty?" I think not. Also, I think greatevil should be a name for a plant. I want to grow greatevil! Next to the tomatoes!
eruthros: Wizard of Oz: Dorothy in black and white, text "rainbow" in rainbow colors (Dorothy singing rainbow)
[livejournal.com profile] m_shell and I watched the DVD of the London stage production of Oklahoma! recently. You know, the one with Hugh Jackman? We'd seen it before, but only as a bad PAL to NTSC dub that our prof smuggled out of England.

This led to some discussion about Wolverine playing Curly, as is wont to happen, and I had a sudden flash of Prof X as played by Patrick Stewart in wheelchair singing "the farmer and the cowman should be friends" and trying to stop fights between the two groups and, just, yah. Patrick Stewart. Prof X. Singing this:
"Ain't nobody gonna slug out anythin'. This here is a party!
Break it up ya' two ol' fools. All right, Andrew, sing it!
Dum-dah-dee-um-dum-dum!
and
I'd like to teach you all a little sayin'
And learn the words by heart the way you should
I don't say I'm no better than anybody else,
But I'll be damned if I ain't jist as good!
Is that not just perfect? I mean, see, Magneto is going around all Superman and Mutants Are the Next Generation and stuff, and Prof X is singing about being no better and no worse. Hee!

Sadly, since this is clearly based on movie!canon, one can't have Laurie played by Rogue, so it has to be Jean as Laurie and Scott as Judd, which is lame. And Rogue and Iceman can be Ado Annie and Will, and of course Pyro can be Ali Hakkkkiiiiiiiim.

Except there's no place for Magneto, except perhaps as Andrew, which is also lame.

Anyway.

My other pop culture stream-of-consciousness-casting-call for the day comes from a discussion with [livejournal.com profile] friede about this ... interesting post in which a Draco fan compares Draco to Lord Peter Wimsey. (Which led to this post wherin a rather famous HP author explains her Draco characterization and uses the phrase "Darth Wimsey." No, really.) After moments of "wtf?" and "but... but..." and "so the logic goes how again?" I tried to work out who the Malfoys are really like in the Wimsey oevre.

[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: Darth Wimsey my ASS.
[livejournal.com profile] friede: blerg.
[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: ... maybe the Duke, actually.
[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: *ponders Lucius and Narcissa as the Duke and Duchess*
[livejournal.com profile] friede: oh dear Gawd.
[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: See, and Lucius knows there's something going on with his dear brother (cousin) that he just can't match -- Sirius has that certain Gryffindorish something.
[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: Oh! Oh! And then! See, Lucius is imprisoned, and it could totally be all "Clouds of Witness" and Sirius (lala he's dead but whatever) saves him because it TURNS OUT that he wasn't in the Department of Mysteries to kill anyone, but to visit some Commoner Cutie Patootie with a mean jealous husband.
[livejournal.com profile] friede: *facepalm*
[livejournal.com profile] friede: FLEE
[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: Heh.
[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: Well, as that makes clear, it doesn't work on the SPECIFICS.
[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: But if I were comparing the Malfoys to a "type" from the LPW books, it would be the Duke, not Wimsey.

I have a sudden desire to cast everyone else, except for the problem where it doesn't work and there is no LPW equivalent in HP. And besides, who'd be Freddie Arbuthnot? The Gringotts goblins? Lame! And Peter's mother! How could anyone else be like the Dowager Duchess? And how in heaven could anyone be Bunter, good steadfast Bunter who brought Peter back from his shell-shock? Or Harriet? Because Harriet and Peter are so much individuals, at least after Strong Poison, when Peter stops being quite so much a cliche with a magnifying-glass monocle.

Hmmmm. Actually, that brings up an interesting point: I wonder if the people who compare Draco to Peter are the people who love the early novels and hate Gaudy Night? Because it does make some sense, rather. Are they looking at Peter as the detective-toff? The white-blond man of distinction, collector of elegant suits and first editions and Daimlers with long bonnets? Rather than as Peter, intelligent and incredibly neurotic and cheerfully ridiculous and learning what it means to be desperately in love? I mean, in that post you see Peter and Harriet's relationship referred to as "inevitable," when that's the last thing I'd consider it -- it's inevitable from the perspective of the series before we meet Harriet in SP. But once DLS starts turning Peter into a real person and writing Harriet? Well, no, because then the whole point is growth and change, and it's the exact opposite of inevitable.

*ponders*
eruthros: Delenn from Babylon 5 with a startled expression and the text "omg!" (BtVS cheeseman nonsense)
All stumbled across or sent to me in the last few days:

Story summaries:

Moony wants Padfoot, Remus wants Sirius but does Sirius feel the same?
(Because they're, um, different people?)

AU. Set during and after Buffy "Chosen" & HP "OotP" BTVSHP crossover. What if James and Lily didn’t die, but was sent forward in time? And landed beside a now destroyed hellmouth were they meet Buffy & CO?
(I ... don't even know where to start.)

Take five boys and a Sorting Hat, mix them up and bake in a moderate oven for six years. Warning, this is not a happy tale.
(Until golden brown; test with a clean fork before serving.)

Author's notes:

It might squeak you. On the other hand, I did some research and apparently what I wrote actually sometimes happen.
(I would so hate to be squeaked. It sounds undignified. And possibly painful.)

Disclaimers: I don't own anything HP, so don't please, don't sue! I own nothing except for my plot bunny of 'Bella' and my three OC's, Eathen Simone, Andre' DuPrea, and 'my' Bella.
(Because as we all know, Interesting and Innovative Doubled Vowels make any OC better! ... or possibly more Mary-Suey. One of the two.)

This is a short somewhat smutty little fic that started out with a question - is it possible to write a love scene between two people without divulging who they are, including their gender? This means that the chracters could be M/F, M/M or F/F. My question to you is – can you tell who the lovers are?
(My answer would be "no." To both questions. Especially if you're not using pronouns. Maybe it's in the third person neutral like in Turkish?)


In the meantime, I watch Stargate to distract me from reloading the Media Matters chart every ten seconds. La. The world will not end. La. If it does, I will still try to sleep tonight. La. I will not bitch out anyone for calling Florida for Bush while polls in Miami-Dade are still open. La. La. Ommmmmmmm.

IM!slash

Oct. 5th, 2004 11:36 pm
eruthros: Delenn from Babylon 5 with a startled expression and the text "omg!" (Probe Austin proto-Mulder)
I was attempting to distract a friend by writing fiction on Y!M which, as we all know, is sorta like Harlan Ellison's page-posting short story trick, in that you can't go back and change anything. This is the closest I get to actual writing, so I'm posting it for the curious.

Harry/Ron fifteen minute fiction )
eruthros: Kate Winslet smiling at the camera (KW promo pic pink)
Harry Potter connections I just made in conversation:

[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: Really, as titular characters go, Sirius Black is more Godot-ish than Annie-esque.

Well, he is.

[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: I did work Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor etc. Which is, in a way, much more fun, because it's much more ridiculous. But still, "Close Every Door" every day for WEEKS will drive anyone to homicide, I think.
[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: Daaaaaarken my daaaaaytimes and torrrrture my niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiights. If my life were important I would ask will I live or die, but I know the answer lies far from this wooooooorld.
[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: *suddenly realizes that that's an OotP-Harry song*

Can't you just picture it? Can't you? Harry grabbing the bars, dim follow-spot, angsting in song? "Hide all the world from me / bar all the windows / and shut out the liiiiiiiiiiight!" He could do it in all-caps, even.
eruthros: Gillian Anderson sitting with her head thrown back, laughing. (GA promo pic laughing)
How it works: go to ff.n and do a "search by story summary" for your name in either HP or LotR. Pick a Mary Sue or two to share the summary with everyone.

Let's see what we've got... )

HP PoA

Jun. 2nd, 2004 11:45 pm
eruthros: Delenn from Babylon 5 with a startled expression and the text "omg!" (Default)
Saw Harry Potter. Eeeeed at Remus and Sirius. And at map. Map! Map map map! As is obvious from Links List, like maps. Anyway. Am exhausted -- more later.
eruthros: Delenn from Babylon 5 with a startled expression and the text "omg!" (Default)
I just got mail. And in that mail was...

Four tickets to see Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban two whole days early! On June 2nd! Right in Manayunk!

I've never won anything before in my life. And now I get to see HP two days early! Next Wednesday!

(Four tickets because they didn't say if you got one or two per person, and so I put both [livejournal.com profile] m_shell and my names down. And okay, "won" is a little strong, since it was that MTV thing, and it was really more "first come first served," but still... free! FREE! And early! And, and, there will be Harry and Hermione and Ron and Snape and Remus and Sirius and, and. Yay.)

/squee

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