eruthros: llamas! (llamas)
I was thinking about hilarious plotting just now, and it occurred to me that I'd probably never shared my favorite seven minutes of Criminal Minds of pretty much all time. It is a) ridiculous plotting and b) Morgan looks super hot but c) it is a cop show and there is gun violence, a terrorism plot, and an explosion. So what has just happened here is that the team's in New York, a small car bomb just went off, and the team is trying to figure out where the second explosion is going to be:Criminal Minds clip of lolarity )

But really it just makes Morgan that much more awesome. Morgan/Garcia: dirty talk OTP, and like seventy percent of the crime-solving on the show.

I think my second favorite lolzy plotting moment is in the Sentinel episode "Cypher." And, I mean, picking a Sentinel episode is kind of a cheat, given that there's also an episode in which Jim Ellison has to borrow a racehorse to chase a man through an amusement park, an episode in which Jim Ellison is thrown out of a speeding train and ends up hanging under it for half an hour, and an episode in which Jim Ellison goes temporarily blind, learns to use echolocation, and then drives a car in a complicated chase scene. But this is just such a small ridiculous moment that underscores all the ridiculousness that was The Sentinel, because in "Cypher," inside of two minutes of fight scene, Jim Ellison drops two separate guns -- one of them, iirc, twice. That's right, his sentinel senses allow him to fire a shot into the barrel of somebody else's gun, but any time someone taps his arm he drops his gun. And he also falls down broken elevator shafts or whatever twice in the same two minutes. Once the elevator shaftish thing is blocked by a glass window so it can shatter satisfyingly. The writers of that show only had two tricks for ramping up the tension during a fight scene: Jim drops his gun, and Jim falls down. Okay, three: Blair is in trouble! Bless.

Do y'all have favorite plot moments like that?
eruthros: The Sentinel - a screencap of Blair and Jim getting breakfast ready (TS - Blair and Jim cooking)
So, when The Sentinel did a prison episode, they sent Jim Ellison undercover as a prisoner and Blair Sandburg undercover as the thoughtful, caring prison English teacher.

Or they did an episode involving carjackings in which Blair Sandburg is the young gruff truck driver and Jim Ellison is his educated partner who just has to come along as part of the team.

Or there's the one with a witness protection program where Jim Ellison and Megan Connor go undercover as a married couple and Blair Sandburg goes undercover as their "nephew."

Why, then, when they did a basketball episode -- two basketball episodes -- did they resist the temptation to make Jim Ellison go undercover as a second-string basketball player? And Blair Sandburg as, perhaps, the team doctor? It wouldn't have been plausible, but then nothing else was on the Sentinel.

Two basketball episodes and a baseball episode, and not once did Jim inexplicably have to join the team! And there's even a horse racing episode and a boxing episode, and he never had to enter as a contestant!1 What was wrong with those writers?

1Though, I mean, there was a chase scene in which Jim Ellison leapt onto a horse and chased after, like, a motorcycle or something. Through an amusement park, possibly. So at least there's that.
eruthros: Martha Jones smiling! (DW - Martha Jones is awesome)
1. I posted that high-protein cookie recipe that I mentioned a while ago over at [community profile] omnomnom! Also, I might've had some of those cookies for breakfast.

2. An interview meme from [personal profile] chagrined! Questions and answers are under this cut )

3. I actually kind of feel like I'm posting all the time right now, because I'm writing up [community profile] kink_bingo related stuff: resources, posting template, accessability, kink wiki stuff about kinks X and Y and Z. But then I don't post it! Because it has to wait until round two is closed! So I keep being a little confused about what I've posted and where. *facepalm*

4. I'm sort of doing three weeks for dreamwidth all the time, since I'm not crossposting, but I thought this related meme was interesting: What kind of topics/entries would you like to see me posting about? Any particular questions you've always wanted to ask me but have resisted because the answer would be a huge essay? Ever want to wind me up and watch me go on a particular topic? Anything you've heard me say "I should write that entry about _________ I've been meaning to write" and have been patiently waiting for? (from [personal profile] telesilla)
eruthros: Grant Imahara from Mythbusters wearing a Star Trek TOS science uniform and Vulcan ear extensions (Mythbusters - grant in a star trek unifo)
I was googling for images for something else last night when I came upon the following information: MYTHBUSTERS IS GOING TO TEST THE GORN CANNON FROM STAR TREK TOS. It totally deserves the allcaps, because this is going to be awesome. A) Kirk makes his own gunpowder and fires diamonds and b) Grant bought himself a Star Trek shirt. Yes. The build team is going to test it, and so Grant bought a TOS science-officer shirt and some Vulcan ear extension things and a communicator and a tribble and a yellow shirt for Tory and a red shirt for Buster. And then he took pictures of it all! For reals!

SO, as a consequence, I made an icon, because what can you do when faced with that much concentrated awesome?





And, while I'm posting icons, I thought I'd include some random ones I made in the last few days or found in my icon-making folder. Three more Mythbusters, three Dead Zone, two Sentinel, three of Martha Jones being awesome, one SG-1, one Batman comics, and a whole bunch of video game icons )
eruthros: Delenn from Babylon 5 with a startled expression and the text "omg!" (Default)
So, a while ago I went over to [livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings's place. When we have dinner, we usually watch tv, but we couldn't decide what we wanted to watch. I was in a Sentinel mood, because of [livejournal.com profile] toft_froggy's joy about it, and [livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings has been trying to convince me to watch the new BSG for years. And so we had the following conversation:

eruthros: Hey, can I maybe convince you to watch a couple episodes of The Sentinel? It's awesomely bad!
tww: Oh, I don't know if I can watch much of that. What about finishing the BSG miniseries?
eruthros: But it's so depressing.
tww: Hey, I'll trade you an episode of The Sentinel for an episode of BSG!
eruthros: *falls down laughing*
tww: I'll even trade you one for one.
eruthros: omg, if you TOLD the BSG producers that you were swapping their show on an hour for hour basis with The Sentinel!
both: hysterical laughter for a while

But then we watched TS and BSG in alternation and ... actually ... this was a really good idea. Because everything that's missing from The Sentinel, I get from BSG; and everything that's missing from BSG, I get from The Sentinel. In the one, it's gritty and tense and the problems are well conceived -- and in the other, Jim says he needs to housebreak Blair and and Blair says "the ebola virus is BAD NEWS, man."* It really is everything I need in a TV show! Too bad it's two tv shows. But seriously, we've done three of these exchanges and it works beautifully. Highly recommended!

---
*It occurs to me that, if this were a wine pairing, it would be kind of like that guy who tries to figure out what wine to pair with cheetos.
eruthros: SG1: Daniel Jackson, text: "I never wanted to be an archaeologist... I wanted to be a lumberjack!"  (SG1 - A Lumberjack!)
So! [livejournal.com profile] graycastle and I have decided that we need to do a project. A very important project. A project that will represent the spirit and ideas of individual fandoms.

We want to find two-second clips from shows that say what those shows really mean. Ideally only one character.

This thought, see, was precipitated by me trying to explain the premise of the Sentinel, and then playing the first few minutes of the Sentinel, and then pausing it on a certain line to say "... well, actually, that kinda sums it up right there."

The line was Jim, talking to the SWAT guys at the beginning of the episode. He looked anxious and armed, and he said "Do you smell that?" That, my friend, is the Sentinel.

We decided that Fraser's first-came-to-Chicago was too obvious for due South, and [livejournal.com profile] graycastle voted for "Ray. Ray. Ray. Ray. Ray. If you don't mind." I voted for "Hi, dad. How're you?" "I'm dead, son. Other than that, do you mean?" Except it's two characters, woe.

And my Buffy choice is, of course, "All right, I get it, you're evil. Do we have to chat about it all day?"
eruthros: Yoda in Dagobah swamp, caption "slimy? mudhole? my fandom this is!" (SW - slimy mudhole fandom)
I'm not really on Sentinel lists anymore -- I'm still subscribed to P-L but not much comes out on it these days, and I bailed on all the fiction lists except for TLAD (which averages like two posts a month) ages ago. But today I suddenly took it into my head to go glance over new stories on 852 Prospect since I'd last checked ... which would be probably two years ago.

Things I found:

When I stopped reading unrecced stories in TS, Harry Potter fandom hadn't really made the big time. Not so now: BS Doesn't Always Stand for Blair Sandburg. Yep, that's right: this is a Harry Potter/Sentinel crossover. Even worse? Blair's a wizard. Worse than that? He's Severus Snape's love child. Severus. Snape's. Son. I just had to share the pain.

Ooooh, look! MPREG! But you wanna know what's unusual? Jim's the one who's pregnant. It's a sentinel mating-imperative thing. Problem, Child.

Predator, which demonstrates quite conclusively that the bad-anthro-theory fucked-up Sentinel serial-killer story is still alive and well. (If that's not an official genre in TS, it should be. It's why I adored [livejournal.com profile] cesperanza's Armchair so much.) Oh, and there's also In Deepest Consequence, which does the same for the one-of-the-other-cops-is-a-serial-killing-homophobe story. Whee?

Speaking of people who should have thought for a moment about reductio ad absurdum, or at the very least read one of [livejournal.com profile] cesperanza's stories (and I think y'all will instantly recognize which one I mean), I present The Littlest Guide, which features a two-year-old Blair bonding with ten-year-old Jim. I couldn't stand it long enough to skim for the plot, but I did read the first few paragraphs. On top of the basic two-year-old Blair problem, we have the "irritating baby talk" problem ("I no baby. I Blair. You mine. I you Guide. Sniff, now.") and the "spelling? grammar? pah!" problem (on one occasion, Blair is referred to as a "Guild") and the "indefinable Blair-ness of his scent" problem (Blair apparently smells like cinnamon and can release said scent on demand). *shudders*

Legion is still writing TS. Now, I think I first read one of her stories in ... 97? 98? Which makes that an incredibly long stay in a fandom. *is impressed*

Also? Through extensive skimming research, I have determined that Blair is now characterized as a screamer rather than a moaner. I don't know what this means, but that's someone else's job. (He still bounces, though. Constantly.)

***

*sighs* Oh, thank heavens.

I thought to myself "self, you have posted a most disturbing set of links, demonstrating that TS fandom still contains far too many 300K angst-o-ramas. Surely you must be able to find one good thing. Just one positive recommendation. That's all it'll take. Something to perk up your post."

And then I couldn't -- I started the first part of this post last Thursday. I scrolled back to January in 852 Prospect. I clicked on short stories and long stories and, really, anything that didn't have typos in the summary, and I bailed on almost all of them in the first sentence. Nothing! Nothing at all!

And now I have finally found something good and, though it's not a surprise, it's really the best I can do: [livejournal.com profile] jacquez wrote another installment in her Dog Tags series. The Illusionist is a good story. Sadly, it's a story by someone I've read and liked before, and thus really not what I was looking for at all, but at the moment? I'll take what I can get.
eruthros: Delenn from Babylon 5 with a startled expression and the text "omg!" (Default)
Good heavens. Anyone who was looking for the ultimate example of bad show-v-tell, I've found it. It reads like badfic, but I swear it's intended to be all moving and stuff. Name not included to protect the really, really guilty.
'Was that the right call?' Jim wondered. 'Should I have stripped him and claimed him as My Guide there and then?'

Jim didn't know.

Jim couldn't imagine anything better than having Blair as his partner.

He was sad because he was pretty sure Blair didn't feel the same way.

*sniffles* Poor Jim! He's so sad! And you can tell he's sad because it says so. Right there. *points*

(Not even going into the whole My Guide thing. Because. Just. Good heavens.)
eruthros: Delenn from Babylon 5 with a startled expression and the text "omg!" (BtVS cheeseman nonsense)
Choice snippets from a variety of fandoms.

Voldemort: For your own sake I do hope you have come baring only good news.
(We leave bad news fully clothed. It's ugly, you know. But the good news -- take it off, baby!)

... and at the additional feel of Methos's breath against his mouth, Duncan erected.
(The bookshelf, having finally figured out how to put it together. Or maybe a nice monument for the Dalai Lama. Something like that.)

I couldn't seem to move them of my own violation, though I could feel my shoulders tensing sluggishly in response to my efforts.
(I worked out that this meant volition, but perhaps it was a Freudian slip...)

When he didn't want to nail [Blair's] ass through the mattress -- or vice versa.
(Sometimes he wanted to nail the mattress through Blair's ass?)

Here are the lessons you can take next year if you wish. Advanced DADA Advanced Charm's Transfiguration Defence therios.
(Therios -- theories that come conveniently packaged for breakfast? Not going into the punctuation at all. It'll just make me bitter.)

Bootstrap Bill: "Aww, that be a shame, but I suppose it be for the bette'," he responded as he resumed a straight standing position.
(You know, it being a PotC story, that almost makes sense. I mean, it might almost be contrasting Bootstrap's straight standing position with Jack's really gay standing position. Almost. Except not.)
eruthros: Delenn from Babylon 5 with a startled expression and the text "omg!" (Default)
Smallville lends itself to character vignettes, where shows like the Sentinel inspire more of the 300-K angst-o-ramas where Blair gets kidnapped and also amnesia and then sleeps with someone accidentally before finding out that there's a new Sentinel and then Jim gets protective and has sex with someone else and then there's a lot of misunderstanding and then they go "wait I love you" and resolve everything in two seconds before finally having 1-2-3-fingers-scissor anal sex while Not Being Gay.

I'd like to see someone try to make Lex be Not Gay, Just In Love With Clark. Just ain't happening. Bisexual - okay. Queer - sweet. Gay - rock on. Straight? I. Don't. Think. So.

Possibly, [livejournal.com profile] m_shell and I have concluded, this is one of the reasons we like Smallville. Although I wouldn't complain if there were more fun case-type stories with the appropriate people still really, really gay.

We can leave off the whole "We're Not Gay, We Just Love Each Other" style and also, as far as I'm concerned, any 300k stories involving So Much Angst They Should Be Institutionalized (tm).

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eruthros: Delenn from Babylon 5 with a startled expression and the text "omg!" (Default)
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