So today is my five-year lj-versary. Five years ago today, I finally gave up on keeping track of three friends' ljs individually, and got a livejournal account of my very own. (Thanks for the invite code, sineala
!) "I won't post to it," I said. "It's just for the friends list." Yeah, right.
Today, on my way to the bigger and further away co-op location (the little one, called "Oasis," doesn't sell crucial things! like, um, Dagoba Xocolatl hot chocolate.) and the Ithaca Bakery, I realized that the Ithaca Friends of the Library Booksale
was not only still going on, it was on its last weekend and thus nearly everything was ten cents. (It closes Tuesday, so everything's a dollar a bag then, but whatever: I spent about two dollars a bag today, and there was more stuff to go through.) As ten cents a book is about my speed, I detoured and spent a ridiculous amount of time picking out murder mysteries.
This, apparently, is how to attract the attention of this particular set of the buying public at ten cents a book:
Matte, textured cover (stands out next to all the oooh shiny)
Excessively bad bun in title (mediocre puns get an 'eh')
Reference to something written before 1950 in the title
This is how to insure that I won't even pick the book up:
Gold shiny text on spine. (Unreadable, among other things.)
Author photo with big hair. (Sorry, big haired authors of the 80s.)
There are still ten copies of it. (Not sorry at all, Mr. Grisham.)
Picking up books and glancing at the text for about ten seconds, these books go back on the shelf:
"... he interjected."
"... her perky breasts..."
"Sure thing, guv'nor."
"The woman scientist had long, blond hair and beautiful blue eyes..."
Back cover copy mentioning child pornography rings, "best thriller of the year," "vengeance," "the one who got away," ex-CIA assassins, forensic pathologists without knowing what forensic pathologists actually do, "treason," "brutal serial rapist" (the chance of this being handled well is about 0.001%), "terrorists," policemen breaking the law for "justice," and other things I've forgotten.
Things that I will keep (unless they fail one of the premises above):
Meta murders. I have a ridiculous attraction to these, and I'd never buy them at full price, but for ten cents? Bring on the murder mystery in which a murder mystery author is investigating a real murder and then is killed mysteriously! Bring on the murder mystery featuring Dorothy Sayers and Agatha Christie solving crimes on a cruise ship! And I'll take the one with the author whose work is being transformed into a play when the lead actor is killed, too!
Academic murders. Amanda Cross, yes. But also the ones with "retired physicist turned police consultant..." and "statistician doing copy-editing on prof's magnum opus..." and so on.
Really, really ridiculous historical murders. Again, mediocre ones? Boring! But give me Alexander the Great's tutor solving murders while Alexander is conquering the world, and into the bag it goes.
Anything where the cover design involves a gun made of sashimi. (Honest to god!)