eruthros: Delenn from Babylon 5 with a startled expression and the text "omg!" (Default)
For serious, you guys, I totally saw this news story when it was a Buffy episode.

Now that is some incredible foreshadowing -- from first season to here. Wow.
eruthros: Delenn from Babylon 5 with a startled expression and the text "omg!" (BtVS Tara avatar avatar)
"Monkey eludes dragnet at train station"

Me: "what? monkey? train station? where? who? huh?" Turns out the answer is wild monkey, Tokyo train station, thirty policemen. Right.

ETA: Okay, wait, maybe this is the best headline ever: "Britain's spy service seeking to hire gays." I particularly like the use of gay as a noun.
eruthros: Gillian Anderson sitting with her head thrown back, laughing. (GA promo pic laughing)
You guys, I have discovered the best blog ever. No, really.

Modern Mechanix: Yesterday's Tomorrow Today. Yes. So you expect all those awesome early ads (like, ways to make your spine young with a revolving hammock).

But this site is more than that! It is way more awesome! Because it also has complete scanned early articles. So you can go read this 1937 article about the possibility of surgical sex changes, or check out How Scientists Visualize the REAL Flying Saucer Men, 1951 (hint: apparently with bat ears), OR you can find out all about Marijuana: Sex-Crazing Drug Menace! Fast Growing Debasement of Our Youngsters, Making Them Wantons and Killer. (My immediate response: wantons?)

And most importantly? LARGE CHUNKS OF MAGAZINES. With covers and ads and articles. SO, you guys, seriously, go check out Physical Culture Nov 1934, for such AWESOME articles as "Glasses are only Eye-Crutches," "Try Dancing For that Inferiority Complex," and one of my personal favorites: "Ever Had Your Colon 'House Cleaned'? Large per cent of all ills and ailments have their source in the neglected 'cellar' of the human body."1 (note: click on titles, not pictures, for the whole article)

OR, for example, This 1959 edition of Sexology. "Sex Worries of Teenage Boys."2 Also, "Wife Swapping: Is it possibly to combine desire for variety in sexual relations with the maintenance of a stable, happy marriage?"

CHECK IT OUT YOU GUYS FOR REALS.

***
1. Subheads include: "a true 'internal bath'" and "glorious relief." Really.

2. "Others worry needlessly about some kind of sexual conduct. 'What are the consequences of masturbation?' 'I have been involved in sex play with a boy friend. What should I do?'"

Five things

Apr. 6th, 2007 05:47 pm
eruthros: llamas! (llamas)
Five random things about me: fannish, personal, ridiculous, serious, all of the above

1. why reality tv is scarier than doctor who )

2. my flist and fandom analysis )

3. typing )

4. now redacted )

5. earworms )



Random links:
The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence have a new motto on their website: "defining San Francisco values since 1979." Ha! Also they are having an Easter party.
Other ways of updating Jane Austen: someone has vidded two versions of P&P to a Justin Timberlake song.
The most hilarious election day story of all time.
Apparently we make the gorges safe by ... rappelling down the sides and knocking off loose rocks. AHHH.
Geraldo Rivera doesn't take Bill O'Reilly's shit.
Commentary on the Sun op-ed suggesting Cheney should run for president.
A three minute preview for tomorrow's Doctor Who.

I have stolen this random links idea from [livejournal.com profile] svendra, because if I don't stick unrelated things at the bottom of my posts, I fail to share the awesomeness that is Alanis Morissette doing "my humps" with everyone. I mean, I feel like all my random links don't deserve single posts, so then the only people who see them are the people who are on IM when I find them. (If you still haven't seen the Alanis video, it's here. Also awesome. SERIOUSLY.)
eruthros: llamas! (llamas)
Best headlines of the day:

"Pomos wary of superfund."
My first take: postmodernists don't like superfund sites? Who huh wha ... Oh, oh! Pomo Indians. Right!"

"Study: Don't get divorced or fired."
Apparently they're bad for your mood, according to the subhead. Really? Whoda thunk?

"Developer condemns city." (In the Philadelphia Inquirer.)
Me: "the whole thing? Oh, wait. They mean city hall." Lo, I am slow on the first DST weekday.

***
Life goals:

One day, when I produce a TV show (I don't know how I'd get there from here, but that's irrelevant), I will commission an amnesia episode. You know, like the famous amnesia clip shows of yore (due South, I am so looking at you). Except that all the stories we frame as big, important stories... will be clips we've never seen before. It will be fabulous! It'll be the anti-clip show, with "flashbacks." You know you want to subvert the clip show, too! None of the "he was dreaming!" "he had amnesia!" "he was on trial!" "but it's not really a clip show, because we dubbed in new dialogue!" crap.

***

This is quite possibly the most hilarious quote regarding DADT ever. Regarding, of course, Matt Sanchez, the Marine Corps Times informs us that officials are "unable to confirm whether Sanchez had enlisted prior to the end of his film career or if Reserve Marines were prohibited from doing porn when not in a drilling status." These are important questions, yo! If you're a Reserve Marine, and you're not drilling, and you're in some gay porn: does that violate DADT?

Man, DADT: how are you so completely ridiculous? GOD.

But, on the other hand, think how useful this information might be to people who write in SGA.

Aside )

***

And one last link for those of you who, like me, are bitter about this whole stupid thing where Daylight Savings starts earlier and ends later: a University of California study, based on the Australian case, that argues that pushing DST back into winter actually increases energy use. Rather than putting daylight hours when we use them, it puts dark hours when we wake up -- so we get up, turn on the heater, the lights all over the house, and so on. And this turns morning into a peak-load time, increasing the prices of electricity in the morning. Yeah, a nice "free" way to conserve energy? Bite me, Congress.
eruthros: Delenn from Babylon 5 with a startled expression and the text "omg!" (BtVS cheeseman nonsense)
... but somehow I think spray bottles of yoghurt* helps.

I must share this story with you all. Must.

Because, you see, it involves a really ridiculous marketing campaign for yoghurt. Including naked models, spray bottles, wheat flour, and, now, a fine for obscenity.

YOGHURT. In SPRAY BOTTLES. Just go read it.

*

In other Weird News, Greenpeace took a dead whale and dumped it on the steps of the Japanese embassy in Berlin to protest Japanese "scientific" whaling. And I'm definitely on Greenpeace's side regarding whaling, but for some reason, I just have this hilarious mental image here -- five or six guys pull up in a huge truck and roll the dead whale onto the steps and then one of them runs up and rings the doorbell and then runs like hell. Doorbell ditching with fifty-five foot dead whale.

*

Ahh, yes, Republican reforms. Rep. Bob Ney (R-Ohio) had this to say to The Hill about whether or not the Abramoff scandal would change his reelection campaign: "I’m running -- if I’m indicted, I’m running."

*

*Yoghurt is a perfectly acceptable alternate spelling. And I like it better. So nyah.
eruthros: Ivanova from B5 saying "boom boom boom boom" to Londo -- angry icon!! (B5 - Ivanova boom)
This is quite possibly the worst review I've ever seen a movie get in a real newspaper. (Inasmuch as a Hearst newspaper is a real newspaper, but that's a whole nother discussion.) I mean, there's stuff in that review that I would be surprised to see in blogs. Like:
Seamlessly and rather cleverly, without telling anybody, Gus Van Sant has transitioned out of important filmmaking and has taken up a new career in torture. He's developing a knack. With "Gerry" (2003), about two guys who get lost in the desert, Van Sant seemed to go as far as anyone could in making a completely inert movie. But with "Last Days," about the events leading up to a grunge rocker's suicide, he surpasses himself, making a picture that's in trouble from its first minutes.
That's how it starts. That's the first paragraph. Where can you go from there? I mean, the review's pretty much over, right? Nope. After all, Mick LaSalle's got a word count to meet, so you get lines like "I can imagine that if people were to watch that scene while stoned, they might crack a smile." Yeeeeesh.
eruthros: Wizard of Oz: Dorothy in black and white, text "rainbow" in rainbow colors (Dorothy singing rainbow)
I am not a LotR fan at all, let alone an LotRPS fan, but I figured some of you lot would probably like to see this.

So I present: David Cronenberg and Viggo Mortenson just about to kiss. At Cannes. Just before the showing of History of Violence. And according to QueerDay, it was rather more than a friendly peck. (The actual article is in French, but is mostly blahblah vague plot of film blah.)

[livejournal.com profile] friede: who, regardless of gender/orientation, does that in front of paparazzi?
[livejournal.com profile] friede: man.
[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: Um, David Cronenberg?
[livejournal.com profile] friede: OK. point.
[livejournal.com profile] eruthros: The first line there is "David Cronenberg loves to shock."
[livejournal.com profile] friede: hee. point. and Viggo ain't above it either.

ETA: another link with a different image at canada.com.
eruthros: Delenn from Babylon 5 with a startled expression and the text "omg!" (BtVS cheeseman nonsense)
As near as I can tell, this headline makes exactly no sense: "Wal-Mart warns on profits target." And it's a bbc.co.uk headline, yet! (I can work out what they mean based on the article -- blah blah Walmart thinks it'll be below expected profits blah -- but.)

In recent story summaries that I've received on hpfanficrecs (the things that get recced make me wince) or have seen while browsing, we have the following:

"There's no Harry Potter,but Avernus Noir.Harry had been neglected since his sister was the Girl Who Lived.At four,Harry had been kicked out of his home because a baby.Adopted by the Noir family, Harry attended Hogwarts when he was 15.Vote!Poll Inside."

I do not understand this at all. He was kicked out of the Potter family because a baby... what? Was born? Hung out? Taught salsa dancing? And then he was adopted, and then was ... a late admission to Hogwarts? Students of non-traditional age?

***

"Ranma Soatome hasn't been feeling to well lately. He's been breaking out into fevers and even having fainting spells. But the end result just might make him the new student of Hogwarts."

This may well be my favorite ridiculous crossover EVER. I quote the first paragraph:
"Voldermort was sitting in his chair. He tried to get close to Harry to kill him but was too unknowingly well protected. Stupid undercover Auras. Voldermort considered himself the most powerful wizard ever but even he had his limitations. Question was: what was he going to do?"
... Soatome! Voldermort! As near as I parse the second sentence, Voldermort was unknowingly well protected, which rendered him unable to kill Harry! And my favorite: undercover Auras! *dies laughing*

***

"Touch is heaven and hell, pain and relief. Touch is deliberately caused. Or not? Can you distinguish love from hate, lust from indifference in the touch? Sometimes you don't seem to know at all; can't judge coincidence from intention; can't trust yourself. You can only give in and let the fingers burn you, brand you, own you."

... oookay. The story is actually decent; the author just needs to get someone else to write summaries. Because "Touch is deliberately caused. Or not?" is just too giggle-worthy for words.

***

"This is about Harry in his 6th year. it corresponds with 'What Goes Around, Comes Around.' it's going to be funny. i know i made the first chapter really suck, but that's life. it'll get better. i promise!(crossees fingers:even though i suck at writing!)"

I have no words. None.

***

"Tom Riddle, a name associated with fear, darkness, and unimaginable evil and power. Yet there was one who knew something else. One who watched quietly in the background as a greatevil grew. This is the story of Aurelia Hymes... the girl who loved Tom Riddle"

Shouldn't that say "... the girl who was a Mary Sue?" And this was RECCED, people. RECCED. I quote the first paragraph:
"He watched her, and studied her every movement - the way her blonde curls glimmered in the light, and the way her green eyes shone with feisty passion as she continued working, her eyes narrowing in concentration. As he watched her, sitting across from him, as a fierce hunger that he had never known rose to its climax. Tom Riddle had a crush, whether he liked it or not. Perhaps, he mused, watching her as a smile curled upon his lips, he was in love."
Notice the sentence fragment. Notice the word "feisty." Are non-MSs ever described as "feisty?" I think not. Also, I think greatevil should be a name for a plant. I want to grow greatevil! Next to the tomatoes!
eruthros: Delenn from Babylon 5 with a startled expression and the text "omg!" (BtVS cheeseman nonsense)
There's this, from Connecticut: man charged with lewd conduct involving a toy banana. Best line from the article, bar none: "'It was a yellow, plush, child's toy banana,' Petrone said. 'It had a smiley face on it.'" Apparently he was sorta ... flashing people with said banana. Eeesh.

And then there's this, from London: man's attempt to rob bookies foiled when they recognize that his gun is a banana. Yes. He wrapped a banana in a plastic bag and tried to pretend it was a gun. Best line from THIS article, bar none: "This did not produce the desired effect: assistant Peter Humphrey calmly turned to a colleague and said: 'He said he has a gun, but it might be a banana.'" (The attempted robber was then captured because his balaclava was too tight and he couldn't get it off. Aiiiya.)

In non-banana-themed news, today I plan to make it to Skein Lane, a yarn shop, on my way in to Berkeley. I will pet the Manos del Uruguay and pretend I can afford it. Alpaca! Whee! However, it is raining rather a lot, so I'm a bit dubious about the whole waltzing-around-the-Bay-Area plan.

The rain and sun here have balanced to make a perfect wildflower season, so my family and I are planning to go to three-cypress bluff off of four-mile beach in Wilder Ranch, home to one of the highest concentration of California native plants in the state. So many bushes that you can barely walk -- there's a tiny little path, and that's all. It's especially astonishing because the plants are all coastal natives, and the coastal natives have been especially threatened by things like iceplant. (Things along highway one have weird names -- four mile beach is four miles north of the SC city limits, and three-cypress bluff has, near as I recall, four cypresses, but whatever.)

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