eruthros: Delenn from Babylon 5 with a startled expression and the text "omg!" (BtVS Tara avatar avatar)
[personal profile] eruthros
And as Oddly-capitalized as a Stony Brook press Release! (Further SUNY SB-related posting will have to wait until ... well, until I wanna post about it. At least I'm honest.) So instead: totally random.

Why do I never realize that I'm not logged in until I've read skip=200 posts? Why can't lj have a flocked-only filter, so I don't then have to go back and skim through forty pages of lj looking for little padlocks? This is an important question. ETA: Okay, speak of the devil. The new toolbar thingy will at least tell me I'm not logged in when I'm on my flist. If I like it. It's kinda hideous.

Also, the train car I was on this morning had almost all the lights burnt out, which was a really weird experience going through the tunnels. Dark and gloomy and the lights in the next car seemed really bright.

Totally random thoughts, some with "wait, is that who I think it is?" as I perused the BEA autographing schedule, just released, are right here:

The publicists who submit book descriptions to Reed are all taking lessons from Stony Brook. I mean, I know it doesn't necessarily say anything about the book in question, but I see the words "An Electrifying novel" and groan. ("The Easy, Fun way to look and feel good!" "The Sixties: The Decade That Changed America, an Historical memoir." You get the idea.)

Hey, M.T. Anderson seems to be doing another parody of Children's Fiction. Or so I judge from the title The Astonishing Life of Octavian Nothing, Traitor to the Nation. (I looked him up to be certain, and yes: he is the fellow who did Whales on Stilts, which I found hilarious and other folks found ridiculous and labored. Perhaps it helps to have read the original Tom Swift books, since that's one of the main sources for the parody.)

Avi will be there -- I remember being very startled to discover that Avi was a man when he signed at an ABA in the early nineties. I was all "you wrote True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle?" (I adored that book, because it combined sailing ships and a heroine who ended up standing watch. Ten-year-old me was thrilled. Crispin just isn't as cool.)

Dave Barry is signing again. A sequel to Peter and the Starcatchers, which I understood to be a prequel to Peter Pan (Disney version). I imagine this makes sequel-writing difficult, but what do I know?

Oooh, Alison Bechdel! This is her graphic novel-autobiography, Fun Home, not part of the Dykes to Watch Out For series.

And Leonard Cohen! Signing the Book of Longing. (Poetry. Great cover.)

Laura Esquivel's Malinche, which is supposed to be poorly plotted but interesting nonetheless.

Hey, Matthew Fox is going to be there! Signing a new book. (Fortunately on Saturday; [ profile] m_shell would be very disappointed if she missed same. I'm just pleased that I recognized the name. (Matthew Fox is a theologian.))

Daniel Handler is signing TWO books: the novel Adverbs and the Lemony Snicket Penultimate Peril. Well, "signing" the second. I doubt I'll wait in line, though, because bazillions of people will be doing same, and it will be difficult and irritating.

Ooooh, James Howe and the twenty-fifth anniversary edition of Bunnicula. I adored Bunnicula as a kid.

Edward Kennedy!? There will be huge, huge lines.

Ha, Peter Laufer is gonna be there. (My dad published some of Peter Laufer's books, and people kept trying to set me up with Peter's son. And yet we never met, until I went away to college, and ended up rooming with said son's girlfriend. Small world, no?) The book looks interesting on its own regard, as well: Mission Rejected: US Soldiers Who Say No to Iraq.

Jim McGreevey (ex-NJ governor who resigned 'cause of the gay) has written a memoir. A "personal story of torment and triumph." Yowch.

Two, count 'em two, Joyce Carol Oates books. Coming out in September and October -- quite a publishing schedule.

Roscoe Orman! He is doing a book about what he learned from doing "Sesame Street" for thirty years -- he was Gordon Robinson on same when we were kids.

Tamora Pierce again. (She publishes more than Terry Pratchett, I swear.) This is the first of the series that's set several hundred years pre-Alanna. The publicist says that this is "The first in a Tortall trilogy with a new butt-kicking heroine..." Yes. That's exactly what I think when I hear the name Tamora Pierce: the words "butt-kicking." Very appropriate for her tone, no?

Awwww! And Tango Makes Three: "the happy and entirely true story of the birth of the first chinstrap penguin to have two daddies. It's been out for a while and is OMG adorable. Oscar. Mike. Golf. (Not as cool as whiskey tango foxtrot; NATO needs to get on that.)

Oh, and here we have a book apparently titled Devine Color: When Color Sings. Now, my spelling is crap, but I am pretty sure that that's not, in fact, how you spell "divine."

Huh. Harry Shearer (of The Simpsons and Spinal Tap &etc) has written a "hilarious, satiric novel."

Oh, god, R.L. Stine. I keep thinking that he's not really writing anymore, and then I stumble upon his name again. Wah.

Debbie Stoller, signing again. This time the crochet book, to make a complete set.

Marni Nixon is doing a memoir called I Could Have Sung All Night! Whee! I expect fantabulous backstage stuff. And it's cool that she'll be getting more publicity; it must suck to be the nameless dubber for women in musicals.

Also, I think I saw at least three books featuring the true story of Mary Magdalene. The true story of Mary Magdalene ... for YA! The true story of Mary Magdalene ... for toddlers! Mary Magdalene is the narrator's ancestor! (Oh, and one picture book about the Virgin Mary as Intercessor.) And at least six books involving women being sold as slaves, captured by slavers, captured by slavers who turned them into prostitutes, or sold into slavery in historic time X: it's a theme, apparently.

Also the usual set of thriller and mystery writers, for those who care about that sort of thing. (David Baldacci: a "riveting" book with grifters and assassins. Beverly Barton: "sheriff in search of a twisted serial killer" (as opposed to... normal serial killers). Louis Baynard: a military murder-mystery that appears to feature Edgar Allen Poe as a character. Cara Black: what the PR person seems to think is the fifth Aimee Leduc mystery. The Merlot Murders: A Wine Country Mystery, apparently following on the tendency to do murder mysteries for everything (cats! strawberry shortcake!). Actually, Hannah Swensen, of "I will write a murder mystery around every baked good in existence" fame, is also going to be there; this installment apparently features cherry cheesecake and a Hollywood director. P.L. Gaus, one of two authors I know of who is writing mysteries set in Amish communities. Also a murder mystery set in Silicon Valley. Donna Leon, Laura Lipman, Eric Van Lustbader, William Manchee, James Rollins, blahblah et cetera.

Also the usual set of children's books: Sandra Boynton, Jan Brett, William Boniface, Marc Brown (the Arthur books), Spiderwick stuff, Jules Feiffer, Gail Carson Levine, and other new picture book authors and illustrators. For whom there will be long, long lines, as apparently picture books are a Thing for people. Even picture books with DVDs, like Sandra Boynton's. Also a bunch of graphic novels and comic books.

Random list of things that disgust me:
  • Stephen Baldwin is signing two different books: one a graphic novel, and one a book about his born-again-ness. (Even more disgusting: I predict crowds. Peh.)

  • Chicken Soup for the Blankity-Blank Soul: are people still buying these? Why do they care? What possible Blanity-Blanks haven't already had a Chicken Soup book or two?

  • British Born, American Bred: A Prince William Fanfiction. Seriously. "Imaginative author proves nothing stops true love... even the Atlantic Ocean!" Also seriously. See, an American girl meets Prince William, and they fall in love, and grow old together, and he becomes king. Also seriously. (Thank God she's "published" by BookSurge, which is a self-publishing dealibob, or I would be hitting people with sticks.)

  • Mary Cheney's book: "the VP's daughter talks for the first time about her life, family and her father's political campaigns." Oy vey.

  • This description: "The first novel in a new fiction series by actress and CoverGirl spokesperson Jennifer O'Neill."

  • Amber of Survivor etc doing an advice book. Blargh. Also Ross George, apparently of The Apprentice, doing a business book. Double blargh.

  • Jerry Jenkins. Left Behind prequels. Need I say more?

My favorite descriptions:
  • "77 canine heroes and their handlers, retelling their heart-affecting stories of the days that followed 9/11" -- wow, those must be some canine heroes.

  • "A hardened old rancher crosses paths with five Chinese women being forced into prostitution." Me: and? Surely there's a more to the novel than "man meets five women?" I mean, it's not much of a book if he's all "hi!" and they say "hi!" and then we're done.

  • To match that, we have "A Nepalese girl sold into the slave trade." This is even worse, really, because it's a sentence fragment. A Nepalese girl etc does what?

  • "A supernatural suspense novel, with a jaw-dropping Twist" -- someone named Twist? Is this one of those Tom Swifty sorts of things?

  • "Jack Danielson must find Firestorm and save the earth." -- is Jack Danielson related, by any chance, to Daniel Jackson?

  • "Drag queens. Murder. Provincetown, Massachusetts. Vietnam. Thailand." -- Random. Words. Not sentences.

  • "An ancient evil has awakened. Will it be defeated in time?" -- I want to see an entire thriller where the macguffin remains no more specific than this. And everyone runs around trying to stop the ancient evil without ever saying what the ancient evil is, leaving the reader to guess the macguffin. Demons? Smallpox? Dinosaurs? Mystical energy from the rituals of freemasons?

  • "A serial killer murders in pairs to avenge the past" -- Right. S/he wants to kill people on behalf of the past. I do not think this means what the publicist thinks it means.

  • "Philly attorney Victor Carl wakes up with a tattoo on his chest and no idea how it got there. Finding the answer will land Carl in very hot water indeed." -- ... wow. Urban legend much?

  • "Explores how Conservatives iniatives (sic) effect item in your wallet." -- Ouch.
  • "An historical debut thriller featuring murdered heiresses, Sigmund Freud, and NYC in 1909" -- multiple heiresses! Possibly Sigmund Freud in NYC! I just find descriptions of historical novels in twenty-five words or less really hilarious, I guess. Or maybe this is a bad example of one.

  • "Fiction, an honest young attorney, faces off against his former boss." -- Methinks there's a bit of a punctuation problem here, yes? Unless the attorney's name is supposed to be "fiction."

  • "He thought the world was conspiring to kill him. Then death slipped in." -- Does this make any sense at all? I presume it's supposed to be intriguing, but it's way past intriguing and into "huh?"

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eruthros: Delenn from Babylon 5 with a startled expression and the text "omg!" (Default)

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