Choice snippets from a variety of fandoms.

Voldemort: For your own sake I do hope you have come baring only good news.
(We leave bad news fully clothed. It's ugly, you know. But the good news -- take it off, baby!)

... and at the additional feel of Methos's breath against his mouth, Duncan erected.
(The bookshelf, having finally figured out how to put it together. Or maybe a nice monument for the Dalai Lama. Something like that.)

I couldn't seem to move them of my own violation, though I could feel my shoulders tensing sluggishly in response to my efforts.
(I worked out that this meant volition, but perhaps it was a Freudian slip...)

When he didn't want to nail [Blair's] ass through the mattress -- or vice versa.
(Sometimes he wanted to nail the mattress through Blair's ass?)

Here are the lessons you can take next year if you wish. Advanced DADA Advanced Charm's Transfiguration Defence therios.
(Therios -- theories that come conveniently packaged for breakfast? Not going into the punctuation at all. It'll just make me bitter.)

Bootstrap Bill: "Aww, that be a shame, but I suppose it be for the bette'," he responded as he resumed a straight standing position.
(You know, it being a PotC story, that almost makes sense. I mean, it might almost be contrasting Bootstrap's straight standing position with Jack's really gay standing position. Almost. Except not.)