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Snow day! With squid!
This is my very first snow day EVER. They got up to 8 inches in the Philly suburbs, and all the schools where I teach are closed. How very odd!
Because![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sineala had today off, as well, we amused ourselves by writing cliche-ridden cop dramas featuring the Hogwarts Giant Squid.
eruthros: Ducks are also fun.
eruthros: So are squid, actually. Squid are, like, inherently funny.
sineala: Hey, they are! Squid! Heh. That's cool.
eruthros: That's why the HP Giant Squid is EXTRA funny.
eruthros: He's a GIANT. SQUID.
eruthros: Squid! Underwater life-saving squid!
sineala: Duuude. You know, that would totally be a good crime drama setup. Well, a funny one, anyway.
eruthros: *g* Word.
eruthros: That could be the theme song. "Squid! Underwater life-saving SQUIIID!"
sineala: It would be even better if it made the Law and Order Noise. And the squid had dramatic expressions. Or dramatic ink-squirting.
eruthros: I was picturing the credits with images of a stern-looking squid in the background, squirting in some direction or another to whip guns out of ... people's? ... hands, or catch falling ... women? ...
sineala: Well, I would certainly be intrigued enough to watch it, anyway.
eruthros: Yes! To see the squid heroically save the day!
sineala: Totally.
eruthros: Or maybe sometimes the squid would FAIL. And then there would be giant-squid ANGST.
sineala: With a sad sad squid.
eruthros: Yes.
eruthros: And maybe sometimes the squid would accidentally have squidall relations with an evil temptress squid.
sineala: And there would be more squid angst.
sineala: Oh, and is there a young earnest squid sidekick?
eruthros: Yes! There totally is.
eruthros: And the Evil Temptress Squid would shoot the Young Earnest Squid Sidekick.
sineala: Noooo!
sineala: Not the squid sidekick!
sineala: Sniff.
eruthros: Yes! And then Giant Life-Saving Squid would think Earnest Sidekick Squid was dead!
eruthros: And would charge at the Evil Temptress Squid, who would be Laughing at his Grief.
eruthros: And GL-SS would nearly kill ETS, until finally ESS revived enough to say "... squid?"
eruthros: And then GL-SS would drop ETS, remembering to put her in VERY COMPLICATED handcuffs first, and would rush to SS's side.
sineala: This would be the award-winning episode, I can tell already.
eruthros: And carry SS to the ... squid hospital.
eruthros: And SS would be saying "GL-SS? Are you there? GL-SS?" because SS couldn't see or hear GL-SS. And GL-SS would be teh ANGSTY.
sineala: Unless there were a story arc where there were evil underworld squid and we weren't sure who to trust and everyone was all realistically-drawn and it was all dark and gritty. People like that.
sineala: Awww.
eruthros: Oh, totally. That's the second-season story arc, when we're more comfortable with our story telling and, you know, can have arcs because we have regular viewers.
sineala: Right.
eruthros: Maybe we'd sometimes see ESS talking to Evil God-Squid, and we'd worry that ESS was not earnest but EVIL.
sineala: Ooh. A plot twist.
eruthros: Yes!
eruthros: But it turns out! That ESS still worships the very ground GL-SS ... swims over! But is being BLACKMAILED! Because ESS has a sister-squid who is being held CAPTIVE!
eruthros: Either that or ESS is trying to Get Information by Going Undercover.
sineala: Or both.
eruthros: At once!
sineala: There could be a tense sneaky scene in the evil lair where the ESS is trying desperately to free his (or her?) sister while trying not to let the bad guys know he's not one of them.
eruthros: I don't know, I think that this show should be tres slashy, and thus ESS should be the same gender as GL-SS.
eruthros: Very tense, very sneaky.
eruthros: And naturally they FAIL.
sineala: But then people will complain about the lack of strong female squid and accuse us of being misogynistic.
sineala: Oh, of course.
eruthros: Hey, they could both be female!
eruthros: Male giant squid are smaller than female giant squid, actually.
sineala: They are?
eruthros: Yup!
sineala: So we could have, like Cagney & Lacey squid-style?
eruthros: We could. If we wanted to.
eruthros: The giantist of giant squid get up to, like, sixty feet long.
sineala: I think they should definitely be rescuing the small helpless males then.
sineala: Wow.
eruthros: So they could do a lot of rescuing. Very long arms on female giant squid.
eruthros: That Batman Dilema where you drop the Sidekick through on door and the Love Interest through the other and Batman can save only one unless he does really complicated things? Not a problem for our GL-SS.
eruthros: Squid
sineala: That would make a lot of cliffhangers very solvable.
eruthros: Well, you'd have to put the sidekick and the love interest further apart.
eruthros: In different buildings, perhaps.
sineala: I don't know if that's as dramatic.
sineala: Thank you. No squid pictures?
eruthros: No, no-one's ever seen them alive.
sineala: Really?
eruthros: Well, you could tie all eight tentacles and one of the feeding tentacles down and THEN have GL-SS rescue only one other squid.
eruthros: Nope, never. They live very, very far underwater.
sineala: Then how do we know all about them? They wash up?
sineala: Ah, squid bondage.
eruthros: Yep.
eruthros: Yes. Squid bondage would be really complicated.
eruthros: They have ten tentacles total.
sineala: So the showdown would have to be in a rope factory? :P
eruthros: Or they could shoot GL-SS and wound her. Just a little.
sineala: Ah.
eruthros: It would slow her down...
sineala: That sounds like a good thing for the villains.
eruthros: And the voila! Tense denouement!
sineala: The critics will love it.
eruthros: *g* Totally.
sineala: Especially if they are also squid.
The end!
Because
sineala had today off, as well, we amused ourselves by writing cliche-ridden cop dramas featuring the Hogwarts Giant Squid.eruthros: Ducks are also fun.eruthros: So are squid, actually. Squid are, like, inherently funny.sineala: Hey, they are! Squid! Heh. That's cool.eruthros: That's why the HP Giant Squid is EXTRA funny.eruthros: He's a GIANT. SQUID.eruthros: Squid! Underwater life-saving squid!sineala: Duuude. You know, that would totally be a good crime drama setup. Well, a funny one, anyway.eruthros: *g* Word.eruthros: That could be the theme song. "Squid! Underwater life-saving SQUIIID!"sineala: It would be even better if it made the Law and Order Noise. And the squid had dramatic expressions. Or dramatic ink-squirting.eruthros: I was picturing the credits with images of a stern-looking squid in the background, squirting in some direction or another to whip guns out of ... people's? ... hands, or catch falling ... women? ...sineala: Well, I would certainly be intrigued enough to watch it, anyway.eruthros: Yes! To see the squid heroically save the day!sineala: Totally.eruthros: Or maybe sometimes the squid would FAIL. And then there would be giant-squid ANGST.sineala: With a sad sad squid.eruthros: Yes.eruthros: And maybe sometimes the squid would accidentally have squidall relations with an evil temptress squid.sineala: And there would be more squid angst.sineala: Oh, and is there a young earnest squid sidekick?eruthros: Yes! There totally is.eruthros: And the Evil Temptress Squid would shoot the Young Earnest Squid Sidekick.sineala: Noooo!sineala: Not the squid sidekick!sineala: Sniff.eruthros: Yes! And then Giant Life-Saving Squid would think Earnest Sidekick Squid was dead!eruthros: And would charge at the Evil Temptress Squid, who would be Laughing at his Grief.eruthros: And GL-SS would nearly kill ETS, until finally ESS revived enough to say "... squid?"eruthros: And then GL-SS would drop ETS, remembering to put her in VERY COMPLICATED handcuffs first, and would rush to SS's side.sineala: This would be the award-winning episode, I can tell already.eruthros: And carry SS to the ... squid hospital. eruthros: And SS would be saying "GL-SS? Are you there? GL-SS?" because SS couldn't see or hear GL-SS. And GL-SS would be teh ANGSTY.sineala: Unless there were a story arc where there were evil underworld squid and we weren't sure who to trust and everyone was all realistically-drawn and it was all dark and gritty. People like that.sineala: Awww.eruthros: Oh, totally. That's the second-season story arc, when we're more comfortable with our story telling and, you know, can have arcs because we have regular viewers.sineala: Right.eruthros: Maybe we'd sometimes see ESS talking to Evil God-Squid, and we'd worry that ESS was not earnest but EVIL.sineala: Ooh. A plot twist.eruthros: Yes! eruthros: But it turns out! That ESS still worships the very ground GL-SS ... swims over! But is being BLACKMAILED! Because ESS has a sister-squid who is being held CAPTIVE!eruthros: Either that or ESS is trying to Get Information by Going Undercover.sineala: Or both.eruthros: At once!sineala: There could be a tense sneaky scene in the evil lair where the ESS is trying desperately to free his (or her?) sister while trying not to let the bad guys know he's not one of them.eruthros: I don't know, I think that this show should be tres slashy, and thus ESS should be the same gender as GL-SS.eruthros: Very tense, very sneaky.eruthros: And naturally they FAIL. sineala: But then people will complain about the lack of strong female squid and accuse us of being misogynistic.sineala: Oh, of course.eruthros: Hey, they could both be female!eruthros: Male giant squid are smaller than female giant squid, actually.sineala: They are?eruthros: Yup!sineala: So we could have, like Cagney & Lacey squid-style?eruthros: We could. If we wanted to.eruthros: The giantist of giant squid get up to, like, sixty feet long. sineala: I think they should definitely be rescuing the small helpless males then.sineala: Wow.eruthros: So they could do a lot of rescuing. Very long arms on female giant squid.eruthros: That Batman Dilema where you drop the Sidekick through on door and the Love Interest through the other and Batman can save only one unless he does really complicated things? Not a problem for our GL-SS.eruthros: Squidsineala: That would make a lot of cliffhangers very solvable.eruthros: Well, you'd have to put the sidekick and the love interest further apart.eruthros: In different buildings, perhaps.sineala: I don't know if that's as dramatic.sineala: Thank you. No squid pictures?eruthros: No, no-one's ever seen them alive.sineala: Really?eruthros: Well, you could tie all eight tentacles and one of the feeding tentacles down and THEN have GL-SS rescue only one other squid.eruthros: Nope, never. They live very, very far underwater.sineala: Then how do we know all about them? They wash up?sineala: Ah, squid bondage.eruthros: Yep.eruthros: Yes. Squid bondage would be really complicated.eruthros: They have ten tentacles total.sineala: So the showdown would have to be in a rope factory? :Peruthros: Or they could shoot GL-SS and wound her. Just a little.sineala: Ah.eruthros: It would slow her down...sineala: That sounds like a good thing for the villains.eruthros: And the voila! Tense denouement!sineala: The critics will love it.eruthros: *g* Totally.sineala: Especially if they are also squid.The end!
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nononono -- dark and *inky*. sheesh.
May I
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And yah,
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