eruthros: Delenn from Babylon 5 with a startled expression and the text "omg!" (Default)
eruthros ([personal profile] eruthros) wrote2007-11-18 02:36 pm

Interventions

So I was having one of those conversations you have with fannish friends. You know. [livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings was telling me a story idea, and she said, god, what am I even doing, somebody's gonna stage an intervention any day now. And I, of course, pointed out that this was Stargate: Atlantis, and that you probably couldn't get an intervention for anything less than "the story in which Rodney and John sit in the office all day without talking to each other and just do paperwork," and perhaps not even then.

So, guys, what does it take to get an intervention in SGA? How far do you have to go?

Like, imagine your fannish friend who's been with you for the last three fandoms. You even bailed out of the X-Files at the same time! It has been so wonderful and lovely. But now she's gone a little bit off the rails in this wild and crazy SGA fandom.

[Poll #1090767]

[identity profile] graycastle.livejournal.com 2007-11-18 07:59 pm (UTC)(link)
THE UNICORN/RAINBOW KIDFIC WAS A CRY FOR HELP

...not really. PS, I am writing Radiohead songfic RIGHT NOW, how did you KNOW?

PPS, there is no intervening in this fandom. we're past the point of no return, dude.

[identity profile] cesperanza.livejournal.com 2007-11-18 08:04 pm (UTC)(link)
UH, excuse me, but as the author of both KID A and AMNESIAC, I TOTALLY have dibs here!

[identity profile] graycastle.livejournal.com 2007-11-18 08:28 pm (UTC)(link)
you have dibs on . . . cries for help? can you call dibs on that?

eta: I'm a moron. Amnesiac is a Radiohead album? I am bad at music! so, in conclusion, you win. ;)

[identity profile] cesperanza.livejournal.com 2007-11-18 08:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Both Kid A AND Amnesiac are Radiohead albums!! You have clearly not spent enough time in the dark with your head in the oven listening to Radiohead and being EMO!!

[identity profile] cesperanza.livejournal.com 2007-11-18 08:51 pm (UTC)(link)
*points to own icon* has John hum "...an airbag saved my life..." and passes out from weight of own emo-grief!

[identity profile] graycastle.livejournal.com 2007-11-18 09:26 pm (UTC)(link)
I feel the lack, believe me! I have OK Computer in a box somewhere, does that count? Also, does it count if I stick my head in an electric oven?

[identity profile] cesperanza.livejournal.com 2007-11-18 09:34 pm (UTC)(link)
does it count if I stick my head in an electric oven?

Ahaha; you know, this could be a Radiohead song itself. (Or a lost Philip K. Dick short story!)

[identity profile] graycastle.livejournal.com 2007-11-18 08:39 pm (UTC)(link)
and yet, just above, I have demonstrated my ignorance of radiohead! I shame the nineties.

if you really wanted to callback to songfic, you should've said Sarah McLaughlin or Celine Dion or something. Remember that Spike/Xander fic where Xander was a secret cutter and always lit candles and spread out black silk before cutting his thighs and listening to Sarah McLaughlin's Surfacing? Because I DO.

(we should start a new community like sga_storyfinders, only it should be rememberthe90s_storyfinders or something, so people can be like, what was that x-files fic where Mulder and Scully were kept in an egg for a year and Mulder was forced to rape Scully to impregnate her and they kept hearing windchimes? or like, what was the due South fic where RayK was still getting beaten by his dad at 30-whatever years old and Fraser saves him and then they have healing sex? and then we can all be ruefully amused.)

[identity profile] graycastle.livejournal.com 2007-11-18 09:08 pm (UTC)(link)
hires someone to rape him, REALLY?

and, as if you forced me to find that fic for you. Alexandria Brown, baby: Waiting Here (http://www.abfic.com/waitinghere.html). I lied about the Surfacing; it seems as if the song in question is NIN's "Hurt," which, actually, that's almost worse. Perhaps I am conflating TWO Xander-is-a-secret-cutter fics? BUT I am not lying about the black silk. It's also one of the Xander's-dad-rapes-him fics, which, yeah.

[identity profile] mecurtin.livejournal.com 2007-11-18 09:12 pm (UTC)(link)
the X-Files story where Krycek's a mute mermaid with sharp teeth

I didn't know you were mocking something that existed -- because as an SGA AU, that would totally work. Actually, each member of the Team could plausibly be a mute mermaid with sharp teeth, each in a different way:

- cranky genius mute mermaid with sign language almost too fast to follow

- mermaid mute with PTSD from years on the run swim

- mute mermaid who swims expressively (but can still kick your ass)

- laid-back kinda dorky mute mermaid who turns vicious when his marine biologist is threatened.

[identity profile] mecurtin.livejournal.com 2007-11-18 09:49 pm (UTC)(link)
I think that the laid-back kinda dorky mute mermaid story = teh awesome.

Yes, we should get [livejournal.com profile] graycastle to write it. You're closer, you go first. SGA: Your Fandom's Crack Is Our Daily Bread, and Tastier, Too.

PS the 6th grade Distant Future of Fandom learned about Catal Huyuk in social studies class this week.

[identity profile] graycastle.livejournal.com 2007-11-18 11:49 pm (UTC)(link)
hey! stop that! I refuse to write John as a mermaid. I HAVE STANDARDS YOU KNOW. Just because I wrote unicorn/rainbow mpreg kidfic doesn't mean I'm EASY!

[identity profile] graycastle.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 12:04 am (UTC)(link)
...wait, which story idea was it? was it the pineapples thing?

[identity profile] graycastle.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 12:15 am (UTC)(link)
AHHHHH

I swear to god I had blocked it out! I forgot about it completely. It was eleven days ago, though, which is like four years in fandom time.

OH GOD. Thank you for not revealing my shame to the internet! You ARE a good friend. Now we will never speak of this again.

[identity profile] cesperanza.livejournal.com 2007-11-18 08:53 pm (UTC)(link)
if you really wanted to callback to songfic, you should've said Sarah McLaughlin or Celine Dion or something.

\o/ (http://cesperanza.imeem.com/video/q8Y2WmzM/speranza_sga_kingoftheworld/) ! My patheticness continues unabated!!!

[identity profile] graycastle.livejournal.com 2007-11-18 09:08 pm (UTC)(link)
I HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT THAT

ILU

[identity profile] cesperanza.livejournal.com 2007-11-18 09:36 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm just sitting here grinning at how far over the line I've now gone. I mean, okay, fine, I did amnesia and Ray the angry clown in my last fandom, but between the dolphins, the incest, the songfic, and all that, I really feel like I am PROGRESSING as an ARTIST. \o/

[identity profile] panisdead.livejournal.com 2007-11-18 10:00 pm (UTC)(link)
we should start a new community like sga_storyfinders, only it should be rememberthe90s_storyfinders

I was going to say that we already have one, it's called my LJ, but I don't think I've read "A Fish Called Krycek" so I have to back out.

[identity profile] panisdead.livejournal.com 2007-11-18 10:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Never fear, I bookmarked it! ::g:: I have been trolling through sgastoryfinders a LOT recently, so I might...need a short break from Formative Fannish Moments (unless there's shunning. Is there shunning in this story??) but it'll get read.

[identity profile] graycastle.livejournal.com 2007-11-18 11:33 pm (UTC)(link)
OMG

sga_storyfinders_requestfinders

BEST META COMMUNITY EVER

[identity profile] rachelmanija.livejournal.com 2007-11-18 10:05 pm (UTC)(link)
....is the egg one for real?

[identity profile] panisdead.livejournal.com 2007-11-18 10:21 pm (UTC)(link)
I believe that's "The Sound of Wind Chimes," and I was SCARRED.

[identity profile] panisdead.livejournal.com 2007-11-18 11:02 pm (UTC)(link)
I seriously considered dedicating my grad thesis to the authors of "Oklahoma."

[identity profile] panisdead.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 12:08 am (UTC)(link)
Diagnosis of autism in children under three, which I don't remember having much to do with the story? I was mostly going for "almost as painful, but with less vomiting!"

[identity profile] rachelmanija.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 02:54 am (UTC)(link)
What is "Oklahoma?"

I once read a multi-part fic in which Mulder and Krycek were dragonriders on Pern. I think one of them was recovering from sexual abuse.

I now realize that this was not actually all that cracked-out, in the grand scheme of things. I mean, they could have been tulips. On dragonback.

[identity profile] rachelmanija.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 03:17 am (UTC)(link)
ZOMG! I had forgotten the title, but it turns out I actually read some of this! Like, at least one chapter! Way back a billion years ago, before I had ever heard the term "hurt/comfort.'
cofax7: climbing on an abbey wall  (Default)

[personal profile] cofax7 2007-11-20 07:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, Oklahoma.

Which led to the priceless summary of Iolokus, most of which I fail to remember, other than "and 90% less vomiting". Heh.

[identity profile] panisdead.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 03:15 am (UTC)(link)
You know, at this point all I can really tell you is that it was set pre-X-Files, Mulder was tracking a serial killer in Oklahoma, it was unbelievably long, and people threw up a lot. Reading it was sort of a rite of passage in the fandom, or at it seemed so to me at the time. I believe I once sent one of the authors feedback on a different story and received a fifteen page treatise on why shipping Mulder and Scully was Wrong. (I mean, it was a friendly treatise, but fifteen. Pages).

[identity profile] rachelmanija.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 03:19 am (UTC)(link)
See my comment above. I may have not finished due to vomiting; I'm funny that way. (Characters vomiting, not me. I miss the good old days, which may or may not ever have existed, when fic writers pretended that characters never used the bathroom for any purpose but sexy showers.)

[identity profile] panisdead.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 03:29 am (UTC)(link)
I feel like this is a good place to bring up "Iolokus."

[identity profile] panisdead.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 03:44 am (UTC)(link)
I have fairly detailed memories of Mulder being tortured by one of his own clones. I think there were seven Mulder clones and, like, one was a serial killer, one was a prostitute, one was a soulless businessman, and...something else.

People placed a lot of significance on the story as meta-commentary on the show (so yes, it made no sense), and one of the defining examples--that I no longer remember why it was important, or how it was supposed to parallel--was that Krycek never actually appears onscreen, but is heavily present throughout the story nonetheless. He has sex with prostitute Mulder, of course.

Also, Scully has magical healing fertility-restoring sex with Marita. And Mulder has sex with Samantha, who has a clit ring. God, what else did I LEARN in grad school?
cofax7: climbing on an abbey wall  (Default)

[personal profile] cofax7 2007-11-20 07:02 pm (UTC)(link)
More than the show, even, Iolokus is commentary on the fandom. Also, both Mulder and Scully are really fucked up and crazy for most of it, which I enjoyed.

[identity profile] veejane.livejournal.com 2007-11-20 07:12 pm (UTC)(link)
I think there were seven Mulder clones and, like, one was a serial killer, one was a prostitute, one was a soulless businessman, and...something else.

I bliev u hav mai Mulder-assassin. Surely there was a Mulder-assassin.

[identity profile] panisdead.livejournal.com 2007-11-20 07:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Is this a different Mulder than serial killer Mulder?

[identity profile] veejane.livejournal.com 2007-11-20 07:17 pm (UTC)(link)
I think, yes. Because, there had to be one who turned out to work for The Man, right? Whereas the serial killer had long hair and a crazy neck tattoo, which he proceeded to flense off himself in order to convince everyone that he was the Realio Trulio Mulder, who did not himself have any crazy neck tattoos.

[identity profile] panisdead.livejournal.com 2007-11-20 07:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Wait, I distinctly remember the serial killer flensing original Mulder so he would be...mistaken for serial killer Mulder? So people would be unable to tell which one was which without restraints and a battery of psychological tests? Did he flense both of them?

[identity profile] veejane.livejournal.com 2007-11-20 07:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, it was flense both their necks, or give the Realio Trulio guy a perfectly-matching tattoo. But yes, the idea was that they would be indistinguishable, the cops would kill the wrong guy, and Ebil SK Mulder would go home and do Ebil Things to Scully.

I am led to believe that the whole thing with the Catzilla, the pint of Ben & Jerry's, the superheroic nanny, the latkes, and the later birth of twins sadly does not constitute Ebil; therefore, the plan failed.

[identity profile] panisdead.livejournal.com 2007-11-20 07:33 pm (UTC)(link)
the whole thing with the Catzilla, the pint of Ben & Jerry's, the superheroic nanny, the latkes, and the later birth of twins

Whoa. I think I missed a sequel.

[identity profile] veejane.livejournal.com 2007-11-20 07:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh yes! Everything but the twins (and possibly the latkes) happens in Iolokus 4. The twins are the subject of the treacle monster follow-up, that was Holidays spelled backwards.

[identity profile] veejane.livejournal.com 2007-11-21 02:02 am (UTC)(link)
http://www.geocities.com/mustangsally78/msrtindex.htm Did you read all 5 parts? (#5 is the treacle monster story, published much later.)

#1 involved the magically healing sex with Marita
#2 was the one where the clones were introduced (and something else happens)
#3 is serial killer territory (flensing)
#4 involves spurious lawsuits and Evil Hijinkery, also lots and lots of goopy sex (I say that literally) and the best nanny you could ever want.

It is a thing. (The whole series is spot-the-fic-stereotype, but it becomes really obvious in #4.)

[identity profile] dremiel.livejournal.com 2007-11-21 02:23 am (UTC)(link)
Oh God! No! Don't make me re-live the '90's!!!

[identity profile] veejane.livejournal.com 2007-11-20 07:09 pm (UTC)(link)
I got a treatise like that once, too, about something else. And it crashed Yahoomail due to its size. Its plaintext size.

[identity profile] panisdead.livejournal.com 2007-11-20 07:13 pm (UTC)(link)
The kicker was that I'm about 95% sure my original email made NO MENTION of MSR.

[identity profile] graycastle.livejournal.com 2007-11-18 11:44 pm (UTC)(link)
...remembering old XF fic that I read when I was fourteen is a bit like TRIPPING OUT. I don't want the bizarre things in my brain to be real! There was the one where M&S go through a portal to an alternate universe that's all sword and sorcery, and Scully becomes a WARRIOR/HEALER, a previously unknown combination, and Mulder becomes a, whatever, GUY WHO DROPS HIS GUN, I forget, but someone reads their auras and tells them what they ARE. And then mostly I remember Scully fighting on horseback with her hair all grown out. OH ADOLESCENT FANTASY.

and the thing is, there are like a million XF and Buffy fics like these in my brain, just waiting for the right memory trigger to jump out at me! I am in grave danger.

[identity profile] graycastle.livejournal.com 2007-11-18 11:52 pm (UTC)(link)
The mist rising from the lake partially obscured the rider as he urged his stallion on. The dry, autumnal leaves crunched under the animal's hooves, and a light dew of perspiration bathed both horse and rider as they galloped. The horse was a bay stallion, his muscles rippling beneath a shining coat as his long, sturdy legs ate up the ground, his powerful flanks heaving with the exertion. The rider resembled his horse - long legs, taut muscles under tanned flesh, a wide brow and dark, intense eyes. There was a fusion of flesh, animal and human, as the rider and horse became one, moving with perfect synchronized precision across the valley floor, unaware that they were being watched.

WHY GOD WHY

[identity profile] oracne.livejournal.com 2007-11-20 08:22 pm (UTC)(link)
I READ THE WHOLE THING OF OKLAHOMA. Even with all the vomiting. And the blackouts and shivering in corners and not eating and taking drugs and all that. I kept thinking there would be less drugs and vomiting, but no. But I KEPT READING ANYWAY in incredulous fascination.

The non-vomiting parts were well-written, I recall. Great realistic cop-sounding cruel banter and gritty crime scenes. BUT THEN THE VOMITING.

[identity profile] dremiel.livejournal.com 2007-11-21 02:27 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, Man! I was working for a huge State Institute of Higher Ed at the time and couldn't take the time to read it online but somehow managed to justify PRINTING it all out (on their dime, of course). I found the 4" binder with the whole thing about two years ago and chucked it out. I Should have saved it as an artifact!

[identity profile] graycastle.livejournal.com 2007-11-18 11:37 pm (UTC)(link)
ha! you beat me to it. man, I honest to god think that The Sound of Wind Chimes was the first (or one of the first) pieces of fanfiction I ever read in XF fandom. I was scarred also!

the best part was when the aliens sent them back to earth, and Scully had signs of having given birth (even though she hadn't been pregnant when she went missing, like, four hours before) and the FBI couldn't figure out what that meant, so just randomly charged Mulder with sexual assault. "Uh . . . she delivered a placenta with your DNA in it. You're a rapist? I think?" AWESOME.

[identity profile] panisdead.livejournal.com 2007-11-18 11:53 pm (UTC)(link)
I didn't remember that part! I actually don't remember it in ALL that much detail. Is this the same one where while they're captured aliens test their tolerances? Scully goes first and gets pain, so Mulder is all prepped for that but then they test pleasure? Then possibly he comes back and has sex with Scully, I don't know.

[identity profile] graycastle.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 12:00 am (UTC)(link)
uh, maybe? I remember Mulder coming back into the egg-room with, like, the Giant Raging Hardon to end all the Giant Raging Hardons of fandom. And he had been put into a fuck-or-die mindset, or something, and so he rapes Scully, which gets her pregnant, which is the point (at the end, the aliens steal her baby OMG). I don't remember the pain-tolerance thing, but it may be because that Giant Raging Hardon is taking up too many bytes of memory.

[identity profile] panisdead.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 12:06 am (UTC)(link)
That's totally it. I was thinking tolerance-testing and then alien sex pollen to precipitate the sex, but you're right, it was raging alien hard-ons.

[identity profile] dremiel.livejournal.com 2007-11-21 02:24 am (UTC)(link)
Eeek! I had repressed that memory!

[identity profile] rachelmanija.livejournal.com 2007-11-18 10:03 pm (UTC)(link)
The only thing that would stop me from reading the nineties buddy cop movie fic would be that it is SGA, which I don't read. If it was in one of my fandoms, I would be all over it. (In fact, I think I have been all over it several times already.)

[identity profile] veejane.livejournal.com 2007-11-20 07:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Is now the time for a flashback to Life from the Ashes? Because I am pretty sure that Rodney has never turned into an ogre nor Ronon into a wizard, and I think that SGA fandom had better get cracking on that toot sweet.

As a bonus, all the women in canon are killed off in chapter 1!

[identity profile] veejane.livejournal.com 2007-11-21 01:56 am (UTC)(link)
Viruses fall, and all the women who are not Scully die. (I do not think there was ever an explanation as to why she didn't die, except that she is Scully. Although, considering that it's her and 3 billion men on the planet, at least 2.5 billion of whom are inclinationally straight, I don't think she ever has sex again.)

So, the men not being afflicted with the virus, they start changing into various types, presumably to distract them from the fact that every woman they've ever met has died. Some are wizards, some ogres, some vaguely ghosty undead type of creatures, and Our Own Agent Mulder is turned into a rarity, some kind of pheromone-exuding sex-magnet perma-healing wonder. (There is considerable interest in the fact that, every time he has anal sex, afterward he "regains his virginity." I think this was written before the prevalence of Minotaur's sex site.) And then, all the characters (Okay, Krycek and Skinner) start fighting over him!!

It was a very long series of stories, so long I can't remember if I ever got to the end. But... ogres! And wizards! Fighting over a sex-magnet canon character (who weeps)! It's almost as good as the mythical (never read by me) Sentinel story about evil hyperevolved overlord cats who enslave mankind!!
ext_1788: Photo of Lirael from the Garth Nix book of the same name, with the text 'dzurlady' (Default)

[identity profile] dzurlady.livejournal.com 2007-11-21 05:31 am (UTC)(link)
writes an AU where John is turned into a mute mermaid with really sharp teeth, and Rodney is the trusts-no-one-guy who works at the marine lab
I'd read that! But then I have a terrible weakness for mermaid stories, far more so than unicorns.

Write something completely different...

[identity profile] army-rat.livejournal.com 2007-11-21 02:15 pm (UTC)(link)
that includes a slash scene where right in the middle of the action Rodney turns into a clown and John becomes a whale....

[identity profile] very-improbable.livejournal.com 2007-11-29 11:57 pm (UTC)(link)
I...wound up here somehow or other, and you have broken my head with nineties flashbacks. Also, I want to see that mermaid!John AU. Also also, you left out "writes a story where John and Rodney declare their undying selfless love and affection for each other and perhaps there is also naked caressing and/or making out, but they ARE NOT GAY, THEY ARE JUST FRIENDS."