Entry tags:
Interventions
So I was having one of those conversations you have with fannish friends. You know.
thingswithwings was telling me a story idea, and she said, god, what am I even doing, somebody's gonna stage an intervention any day now. And I, of course, pointed out that this was Stargate: Atlantis, and that you probably couldn't get an intervention for anything less than "the story in which Rodney and John sit in the office all day without talking to each other and just do paperwork," and perhaps not even then.
So, guys, what does it take to get an intervention in SGA? How far do you have to go?
Like, imagine your fannish friend who's been with you for the last three fandoms. You even bailed out of the X-Files at the same time! It has been so wonderful and lovely. But now she's gone a little bit off the rails in this wild and crazy SGA fandom.
[Poll #1090767]
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So, guys, what does it take to get an intervention in SGA? How far do you have to go?
Like, imagine your fannish friend who's been with you for the last three fandoms. You even bailed out of the X-Files at the same time! It has been so wonderful and lovely. But now she's gone a little bit off the rails in this wild and crazy SGA fandom.
[Poll #1090767]
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...not really. PS, I am writing Radiohead songfic RIGHT NOW, how did you KNOW?
PPS, there is no intervening in this fandom. we're past the point of no return, dude.
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eta: I'm a moron. Amnesiac is a Radiohead album? I am bad at music! so, in conclusion, you win. ;)
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No, that's just faking it. Poser.
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Ahaha; you know, this could be a Radiohead song itself. (Or a lost Philip K. Dick short story!)
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ALSO, Radiohead songfic -- I just thought you seemed the type, dude. So I thought I would shame you here by calling it out!
Actually, maybe I should have said Evanescence. You know, "My Immortal" or something. Do you remember the Evanescence Vidding Period? I think it gets its own wave, practically. Like, third wave of vidding, 3.5 is Evanescence, fourth.
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if you really wanted to callback to songfic, you should've said Sarah McLaughlin or Celine Dion or something. Remember that Spike/Xander fic where Xander was a secret cutter and always lit candles and spread out black silk before cutting his thighs and listening to Sarah McLaughlin's Surfacing? Because I DO.
(we should start a new community like sga_storyfinders, only it should be rememberthe90s_storyfinders or something, so people can be like, what was that x-files fic where Mulder and Scully were kept in an egg for a year and Mulder was forced to rape Scully to impregnate her and they kept hearing windchimes? or like, what was the due South fic where RayK was still getting beaten by his dad at 30-whatever years old and Fraser saves him and then they have healing sex? and then we can all be ruefully amused.)
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I mean, how else will I be able to point people to the X-Files story where Krycek's a mute mermaid with sharp teeth? Or where Scully hires somebody to rape Krycek to get him out of Mulder's life? Without googling, I mean, which seems like work.
Man, I totally should've said Sarah McLaughlin, but I have blocked out that part of fandom. I pretend it didn't even happen in dS canon, and that takes some doing. (REALLY black silk? REALLY?)
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and, as if you forced me to find that fic for you. Alexandria Brown, baby: Waiting Here (http://www.abfic.com/waitinghere.html). I lied about the Surfacing; it seems as if the song in question is NIN's "Hurt," which, actually, that's almost worse. Perhaps I am conflating TWO Xander-is-a-secret-cutter fics? BUT I am not lying about the black silk. It's also one of the Xander's-dad-rapes-him fics, which, yeah.
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I didn't know you were mocking something that existed -- because as an SGA AU, that would totally work. Actually, each member of the Team could plausibly be a mute mermaid with sharp teeth, each in a different way:
- cranky genius mute mermaid with sign language almost too fast to follow
- mermaid mute with PTSD from years on the
runswim- mute mermaid who swims expressively (but can still kick your ass)
- laid-back kinda dorky mute mermaid who turns vicious when his marine biologist is threatened.
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ALSO, I think that the laid-back kinda dorky mute mermaid story = teh awesome.
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Yes, we should get
PS the 6th grade Distant Future of Fandom learned about Catal Huyuk in social studies class this week.
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I mean, I totally respect your standards! This is why I didn't tell the world which story idea made you fear an intervention.
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I swear to god I had blocked it out! I forgot about it completely. It was eleven days ago, though, which is like four years in fandom time.
OH GOD. Thank you for not revealing my shame to the internet! You ARE a good friend. Now we will never speak of this again.
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I have not mocked you for it yet! You note! Except to be amused by your shame, actually. Rather than the actual story idea. Which is nothing in SGA terms.
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\o/ (http://cesperanza.imeem.com/video/q8Y2WmzM/speranza_sga_kingoftheworld/) ! My patheticness continues unabated!!!
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ILU
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I was going to say that we already have one, it's called my LJ, but I don't think I've read "A Fish Called Krycek" so I have to back out.
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re: your journal, That is why we need a community! I agree with
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Also, I think that fandom also needs another community, which will be for commentary on sgastoryfinders posts. Like, people will rush to post "new winner for weirdest post ever!" and will go there to ask such questions as "hi guys, I've looked back in the archive for a couple months but I didn't see anyone ask for it. does anybody have a link to the sgastoryfinders post where somebody asked for Punk's story about John walking into walls but thought John was really being abused?"
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sga_storyfinders_requestfinders
BEST META COMMUNITY EVER
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I mean, I'm not innocent here -- I totally think of the mac&cheese scene in Alpha Centauri as the money shot, and eventually had to tag it as such on delicious.
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Quick, somebody ask for "Oklahoma" and we'll call it a day.
(Also, I provide a link to "Sound of Wind Chimes" for everyone's delectation.
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I cannot believe that I read "Oklahoma" more than once. I must have had nothing but free time.
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I once read a multi-part fic in which Mulder and Krycek were dragonriders on Pern. I think one of them was recovering from sexual abuse.
I now realize that this was not actually all that cracked-out, in the grand scheme of things. I mean, they could have been tulips. On dragonback.
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"Oklahoma" is a massive pre-series X-Files story. It's about, oh, 1000K. Mulder is investigating a serial killer (who kills children and quotes TS Elliot!) while slowly going completely bonkers. Suffice it to say that the old Mulder Torture Anonymous group? Gave it a 10/10 rating.
You might actually find it interesting, if you've got, like, twenty hours to spare. It's very 1996-fandom, but pretty well done (as I recall -- I was, in terms of fannish-age, SIX or something at the time, so I may be rose-colored-glassesing here). Also, it may fit into the whole buddy-cop thing you mentioned below -- it is a bit like that, with amnesia and going crazy and being kidnapped and so on. It was, for many years, my go-to story for comparisons -- "yeah, it was unpleasant, yeah, there were serial killers, but it wasn't OKLAHOMA, so."
It's available here, on quick google, and possibly also other places in better formatting.
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It really was, as
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Which led to the priceless summary of Iolokus, most of which I fail to remember, other than "and 90% less vomiting". Heh.
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I think I will use it all the time, now. "SGA fandom: it's got 90% less vomiting!" (Actually, that is SG1 versus Farscape. "We're like Farscape, with many of the same actors, and with leather pants, but with 90% less vomiting!" Also, 90% less writing. But I doubt they'd mention that.)
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2) Re: plot, also there was a lot of TS Elliot. And I think possibly the Virgin Mary blessed Mulder 'cause he needed it? And then he was kidnapped by the bad guy? And also, didn't just throw up a lot but was anorexic sometimes too?
3) FIFTEEN PAGES? That is crazy-talk. Even if the actual treatise was brilliant!
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I actually remember nothing about "Iolokus," except that there was poetry at the start of every chapter and there was a LOT of attention to Scully's maternal instincts. Also, I recall it making almost no sense, though that was true of basically everything that tried to deal with the X-Files arc.
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People placed a lot of significance on the story as meta-commentary on the show (so yes, it made no sense), and one of the defining examples--that I no longer remember why it was important, or how it was supposed to parallel--was that Krycek never actually appears onscreen, but is heavily present throughout the story nonetheless. He has sex with prostitute Mulder, of course.
Also, Scully has magical healing fertility-restoring sex with Marita. And Mulder has sex with Samantha, who has a clit ring. God, what else did I LEARN in grad school?
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I bliev u hav mai Mulder-assassin. Surely there was a Mulder-assassin.
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I am led to believe that the whole thing with the Catzilla, the pint of Ben & Jerry's, the superheroic nanny, the latkes, and the later birth of twins sadly does not constitute Ebil; therefore, the plan failed.
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Whoa. I think I missed a sequel.
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treacle monsterfollow-up, that was Holidays spelled backwards.no subject
I remember absolutely nothing of any of these plot points. Including the flensing. And I could swear I read Iolokus ten years ago. Perhaps I blocked it out?
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#1 involved the magically healing sex with Marita
#2 was the one where the clones were introduced (and something else happens)
#3 is serial killer territory (flensing)
#4 involves spurious lawsuits and Evil Hijinkery, also lots and lots of goopy sex (I say that literally) and the best nanny you could ever want.
It is a thing. (The whole series is spot-the-fic-stereotype, but it becomes really obvious in #4.)
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and the thing is, there are like a million XF and Buffy fics like these in my brain, just waiting for the right memory trigger to jump out at me! I am in grave danger.
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But then your swords-and-sorcery AU gave me a flashback to this picture and now I hate you forever instead.
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WHY GOD WHY
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The non-vomiting parts were well-written, I recall. Great realistic cop-sounding cruel banter and gritty crime scenes. BUT THEN THE VOMITING.
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the best part was when the aliens sent them back to earth, and Scully had signs of having given birth (even though she hadn't been pregnant when she went missing, like, four hours before) and the FBI couldn't figure out what that meant, so just randomly charged Mulder with sexual assault. "Uh . . . she delivered a placenta with your DNA in it. You're a rapist? I think?" AWESOME.
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As a bonus, all the women in canon are killed off in chapter 1!
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I actually never read Life from the Ashes! Which is incredible, because I would read just about anything back in the X-Files. Unless it was just impossibly godawful, and even impossibly godawful was okay if I was bored.
I understand it to be one of those post-apocalypticish ones? Where there's, like, a huge alien virus thing and then half the population dies and then Mulder and Krycek get together for some reason? Over the course of 1000+ K?
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So, the men not being afflicted with the virus, they start changing into various types, presumably to distract them from the fact that every woman they've ever met has died. Some are wizards, some ogres, some vaguely ghosty undead type of creatures, and Our Own Agent Mulder is turned into a rarity, some kind of pheromone-exuding sex-magnet perma-healing wonder. (There is considerable interest in the fact that, every time he has anal sex, afterward he "regains his virginity." I think this was written before the prevalence of Minotaur's sex site.) And then, all the characters (Okay, Krycek and Skinner) start fighting over him!!
It was a very long series of stories, so long I can't remember if I ever got to the end. But... ogres! And wizards! Fighting over a sex-magnet canon character (who weeps)! It's almost as good as the mythical (never read by me) Sentinel story about evil hyperevolved overlord cats who enslave mankind!!
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......
Um.
Okay. Ogres and wizards. Sex-magnet perma-healing weeping Mulder. Check. That sounds hilarious.
But, for SGA, I guess... WHY NOT. SGA could totally do that these days! As
PS: I don't think I read the Sentinel story with the evil hyperevolved overlord overseer cats. But I did read at least a couple pages of the one where Jim was a panther-alien with a spikey penis, and Blair was being kept as a slave by Naomi who was probably a space whore or something and some guy she was into, and wore, like, gold chains in a cage, or something, and was twelve. And then Jim bought him. And events, I presume, unfolded. I think it was in a bazillion parts.
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I'd read that! But then I have a terrible weakness for mermaid stories, far more so than unicorns.
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Write something completely different...
Re: Write something completely different...
/capslock
No, seriously. AWESOME.
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