Interventions

[eruthros]

So I was having one of those conversations you have with fannish friends. You know. thingswithwings was telling me a story idea, and she said, god, what am I even doing, somebody's gonna stage an intervention any day now. And I, of course, pointed out that this was Stargate: Atlantis, and that you probably couldn't get an intervention for anything less than "the story in which Rodney and John sit in the office all day without talking to each other and just do paperwork," and perhaps not even then.

So, guys, what does it take to get an intervention in SGA? How far do you have to go?

Like, imagine your fannish friend who's been with you for the last three fandoms. You even bailed out of the X-Files at the same time! It has been so wonderful and lovely. But now she's gone a little bit off the rails in this wild and crazy SGA fandom.

[Poll #1090767]

Comments

[eruthros]

CLEARLY IT MUST BE DONE.

I mean, how else will I be able to point people to the X-Files story where Krycek's a mute mermaid with sharp teeth? Or where Scully hires somebody to rape Krycek to get him out of Mulder's life? Without googling, I mean, which seems like work.

Man, I totally should've said Sarah McLaughlin, but I have blocked out that part of fandom. I pretend it didn't even happen in dS canon, and that takes some doing. (REALLY black silk? REALLY?)

[graycastle.livejournal.com]

hires someone to rape him, REALLY?

and, as if you forced me to find that fic for you. Alexandria Brown, baby: Waiting Here (http://www.abfic.com/waitinghere.html). I lied about the Surfacing; it seems as if the song in question is NIN's "Hurt," which, actually, that's almost worse. Perhaps I am conflating TWO Xander-is-a-secret-cutter fics? BUT I am not lying about the black silk. It's also one of the Xander's-dad-rapes-him fics, which, yeah.

[eruthros]

YES really. It was part of this hugemongous multi-part series, possibly centered around Mulder and Krycek meeting at a cabin? And Mulder would be all "but I LOVE him, Scully!" and then she'd say "but how can you TRUST him?" and then eventually she hired said rapist and then told Krycek she'd tell Mulder that Krycek'd been cheating, see. Or something. So Krycek ran away and Mulder was sad. Fortunately, there were approximately 100 stories left in the series to fix that.

[mecurtin.livejournal.com]

the X-Files story where Krycek's a mute mermaid with sharp teeth

I didn't know you were mocking something that existed -- because as an SGA AU, that would totally work. Actually, each member of the Team could plausibly be a mute mermaid with sharp teeth, each in a different way:

- cranky genius mute mermaid with sign language almost too fast to follow

- mermaid mute with PTSD from years on the run swim

- mute mermaid who swims expressively (but can still kick your ass)

- laid-back kinda dorky mute mermaid who turns vicious when his marine biologist is threatened.

[eruthros]

*g* I'm pretty sure that it's the cracked-out x-files story, because I see it mentioned fairly frequently. It's called "A Fish Called Krycek." The real point here is that "mute" was meant to mean "almost totally incapable of communication with our hero." Mulder thinks of him throughout the story as "his pet" and says they don't know whether he's intelligent or a "dumb fish." Also, he masturbates to wildlife documentaries on mermen instead of porn. If anybody's read it more recently than I have, they could probably tell you whether there's any definitive sign of sentience at any point on the series (yes, series).

ALSO, I think that the laid-back kinda dorky mute mermaid story = teh awesome.

[mecurtin.livejournal.com]

I think that the laid-back kinda dorky mute mermaid story = teh awesome.

Yes, we should get graycastle to write it. You're closer, you go first. SGA: Your Fandom's Crack Is Our Daily Bread, and Tastier, Too.

PS the 6th grade Distant Future of Fandom learned about Catal Huyuk in social studies class this week.

[graycastle.livejournal.com]

hey! stop that! I refuse to write John as a mermaid. I HAVE STANDARDS YOU KNOW. Just because I wrote unicorn/rainbow mpreg kidfic doesn't mean I'm EASY!

[eruthros]

Note that I was not encouraging you here! I was just sitting here all "heh, John as a mermaid." I am not the enabler, and you can't blame me at all.

I mean, I totally respect your standards! This is why I didn't tell the world which story idea made you fear an intervention.

[graycastle.livejournal.com]

...wait, which story idea was it? was it the pineapples thing?

[eruthros]

*cough* no, it was unposted. Because I am a Good Friend. You may want to search your gmail for "bleach my cerebral cortex." It'll come back to you. You told it to me twice, once on the phone and once in that email. Just sayin'.

[graycastle.livejournal.com]

AHHHHH

I swear to god I had blocked it out! I forgot about it completely. It was eleven days ago, though, which is like four years in fandom time.

OH GOD. Thank you for not revealing my shame to the internet! You ARE a good friend. Now we will never speak of this again.

[eruthros]

This is true! It is a problem of fannish time. Though I think there's a little more "bleached my cerebral cortex" going on there than there is fannish time.

I have not mocked you for it yet! You note! Except to be amused by your shame, actually. Rather than the actual story idea. Which is nothing in SGA terms.