eruthros

So I just discovered Lotus Organics, an organic-and-sustainable clothing store that mostly carries products for women, though they also have some stuff for men and for babies. And they happen to be having a sale right now where everything is 50% off or more -- I bought a bunch of organic cotton underwear, which usually runs at least $12, for $4.50. And I bought it on Thursday, and received the package yesterday, so now I am fairly confident that I can say that they are a) cool and b) really really fast.

The only problem I had with them -- other than a remarkably hideous web site -- was that their inventory is changing very quickly and is not immediately reflected on product pages. If you add something to a "saved cart" (their term for a wish list), though, it will tell you how many of X are left.

Yes, rei.com is having their winter sale! Which means such things as ...

Keen Amsterdam shoes, usually $85, now $30.
A Smartwool jacket at 73% off (which, frankly, Smartwool needs to be even remotely affordable)
Down jackets!
And silly hats and many other things as well.

So last night I did some laundry, mattress cover and the awesome thick high thread-count flannel sheets my mom bought me as a Christmas present last year. And I made the bed...

... and this morning I couldn't get out of it. It was warm. It was cuddly. That sort of bright, cold light was shining through the window, muted by the trees still on the leaves, and it was clear that outside the weather was frosty and cold. I was warm in bed; I had perfect sheets and a down comforter; I wasn't going anyplace.

I didn't go back to sleep, but I did just snuggle up for half an hour and go "mmmm" while the back of my brain was going "READING! You have reading to do. Do you remember the reading? Hey! You!" I was like "mmmhmmm."

Perhaps I should be using sheets made of, like, hair shirts or something instead. Because clearly this is going nowhere good. But oh, how perfect is a morning with thirty minutes in bed, not even reading a novel, just watching the trees move outside and enjoying the warm flannel sheets?

***

PS: Sierra Trading Post is now doing ANOTHER 20% off all shoes before that coupon, so. Tevas and Joseph Siebel and Ecco, oh my.

For serious, you guys, I was just there the other day staring longingly at "A city built on rock and roll would be structurally unsound" and then today I got an email all "they printed the shirt you liked with the text-messaging knight!" And I was like "oooh I hope it's still there when they have a sale later..."

And then! They have a sale NOW! A back-to-school sale! Ten dollar t-shirts! Awesome!

... now, if only I could eliminate some of the things in my cart. Um. *stares pathetically at cart* I'm down to five! Five is pretty good, right?

Oh, Threadless stock chart, you are too tempting!

So I'm scrolling down my spam folder in gmail when I find two great spam subject lines that taste great together:

Subject line: What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
Subject line of next message: Become a Crime Scene Investigation!

I find this far funnier than it deserves. I feel I could write a CSI pre-credits tag around those two sentences, actually. It is the story of a business man, who goes to Vegas thinking he can get away with ... something ... and then the next thing we know, he's dead on the pavement. In fact, I think that pretty much covers half of CSI.

Almost as good is the pairing Take the Man Quiz! / Choose complementary tones. (Yes, complementary spelled like that.) The first, of course, is spam for viagra; the second is spam for downloaded ring tones. But in combination they mean something else entirely.

***

Sometimes people rock: check out this product on amazon. Yes, y'all: someone is selling gallons of milk on amazon.com. Hilarious? Weird? Baffling? All of the above?

Well, apparently nine hundred people agree with you, because they're writing reviews like this:

"This stuff is amazing! I ordered some the other day and selected express shipping so the total was like $35.00 for a gallon of milk, but it has changed my life. My once bald head is now covered in thick, Fabio-like hair, my impotence is cured, I no longer have vertigo, dementia, incontinence, ringing ears, depression, psychosis, post-nasal drip, explosive diarrhea, herpes, or the plague. Thank you Tuscan Milk!! I am totally getting this for my wife for Christmas."

"Delivered by the bronzed descendants of Roman Gods (dressed as postal workers) my Tuscan Milk arrived! Upon opening the container, the heavens opened and the angles sang! It was really quite a nuisance. My house is now littered with unemployed Romans and angels that won't shut up. They drank all my Tuscan milk. "

Or my personal favorite, the one that reviews Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz, in the style of an iPhone review: The 1 Gallon Jug of Tuscan Whole Milk's beauty alone would be enough to prompt certain members of the milk-drinking cult to dig for their credit cards. But its Milk OS X-based software makes it not so much a smartmilk as something out of "Minority Report". ( ... the rest )

***

Also: things I have to do by tomorrow morning at 8 am include:
1. Packing. Kind of important.
2. Dishes. Important, but not, you know, CRUCIAL. One sad little water glass still on the counter would be okay.
3. Laundry. Important, because I have to at least finish the stuff that's wet.
[redacted]
6. Shower, breakfast, clean out 'fridge, take out trash, etc.
7. Print out greyhound bus ticket.

In short: AHHHHH.

So, instead of dealing with that, I am ... reading the news on the internet. Whee! I have learned that the Golden State Warriors are up to ninth in the Western Conference -- because they defeated the number-one seeded Mavs, ending the Mav's seventeen-game winning streak. Awesome! There are many pictures of Nowitzki looking a little baffled. Nowitzki was all "we just were never ready to play" and "we didn't think they had it in them," which is bullshit, because the -- read it again -- ninth-ranked Warriors have whumped the Mavs in four straight match-ups now. And they kept Nowitzki to thirteen points. HA.