Clearly, still not apathetic enough.

Five things that irk me:
Ff.n and The Popups That Would Not Die.
Flavorless cheese.
The end of the subjunctive. (People now sing "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer wiener." This is just wrong.)
Being mocked for spelling like Sir Thomas Malory. (Merlin, Merlyn, Merlyon... same thing, right?)
Crossovers where everyone has brilliant revelations on page three. (Mulder suddenly realized something. "Jim, you're a Sentinel!" "Why, how do you know?" "I've read Sir Richard Burton, the explorer, not the actor." Beh.)

Five things that amuse me:
TWOP polls.
Evil clowns on OaT.
The constant use of "Sev" as a nickname in HP slash. "Sev?" Heh.
The phrase "Aesop's foibles."
G.K. Chesterton: The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.