Why is there no apocalypse? We're waiting!
Mar. 5th, 2004 03:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eruthrosMy journal has been nothing but boring commentary on the news lately. But, look, I'm not so much able to do the fandom stuff at work, and I post mostly from work, and anyway Mark Morford is the funniest man ever.
Where is my gay apocalypse?
Mark Morford: sometimes profane, often inexplicable, occasionally angry, usually ungrammatical, and, every now and again, hilarious.
***
In other news, a Republican Senatorial Aide who stole and read Democratic memos said that "it was fundamentally wrong to consider the Democratic documents as confidential, because they were easily accessed." (from nytimes.com)
Ah yes, the ever popular "they didn't really mean them to be private because they were only hidden behind a password! and anyway they didn't nail them down! and then tie them to large lead weights! and then put them in a safe! and then hide the safe in a coffin! and then dump the coffin in a railroad car! and then fill the car with concrete! and then dump the railroad car over the Marianas trench! ON FIRE! so they can't really have meant them to be really private!" excuse.
That actually looks a lot like what a twelve-year-old would say. (On that note, this unrelated-but-funny Molly Ivins comment: "Does any of this strike you as grown-up behavior? Or even grown-up behavior-related program activities?") Or I picture Eddie Izzard trying that line. Just imagine him raising an eyebrow, stalking around the stage in ridiculous heels, and saying "No! Obviously not!" And then pausing before explaining "Because they were just sitting there. Behind a password. But really just sitting there. Out in the open. Behind a password." I mean, Christ people. That sounds like a real excuse to someone? Oy.
Where is my gay apocalypse?
I have been waiting patiently.And
I have been staring with great anticipation out the window of my flat here in the heart of San Francisco, sighing heavily, waiting for the riots and the plagues and the screaming monkeys and the blistering rain of inescapable hellfire. I have my camera all ready and everything.
There has been nothing. I see only some lovely trees and a stunning blue sky and my neighbor walking by with her pair of matching chow chows as a pained-looking woman struggles to parallel park her SUV. Same old, same old.
(Oh, and while we're at it, God also really hates shrimp. Maybe you didn't know. Shrimp are evil, as are all shrimp eaters. Clams, too. Hey, it's in the Bible. You can look it up. Why the Right is attacking homosexuals in love and not, say, Red Lobster, remains a mystery.)
Mark Morford: sometimes profane, often inexplicable, occasionally angry, usually ungrammatical, and, every now and again, hilarious.
***
In other news, a Republican Senatorial Aide who stole and read Democratic memos said that "it was fundamentally wrong to consider the Democratic documents as confidential, because they were easily accessed." (from nytimes.com)
Ah yes, the ever popular "they didn't really mean them to be private because they were only hidden behind a password! and anyway they didn't nail them down! and then tie them to large lead weights! and then put them in a safe! and then hide the safe in a coffin! and then dump the coffin in a railroad car! and then fill the car with concrete! and then dump the railroad car over the Marianas trench! ON FIRE! so they can't really have meant them to be really private!" excuse.
That actually looks a lot like what a twelve-year-old would say. (On that note, this unrelated-but-funny Molly Ivins comment: "Does any of this strike you as grown-up behavior? Or even grown-up behavior-related program activities?") Or I picture Eddie Izzard trying that line. Just imagine him raising an eyebrow, stalking around the stage in ridiculous heels, and saying "No! Obviously not!" And then pausing before explaining "Because they were just sitting there. Behind a password. But really just sitting there. Out in the open. Behind a password." I mean, Christ people. That sounds like a real excuse to someone? Oy.
no subject
Date: 2004-03-05 01:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-05 05:13 pm (UTC)I heard that in Eddie Izzard's voice when I read it the first time, when I got to 'ON FIRE!' I am so used to hearing Eddie say that phrase... I guess I just associate it with him pretty freely now. *grin*
no subject
Date: 2004-03-08 03:14 pm (UTC)Well done me, then, with the immitating-Eddie-Izzard's-style. Or at least his ON FIRE. *g* Because really. The whole situation is an Izzard routine.