news stories that make me giggle

[eruthros]

So I actually read the news some at work today. Because I was using a computer. Because they've decided that I should be working on their accounting db -- and, I mean. I have Issues with processing invoices and all. Eeep cutting checks eeep. Plus, I'm doubly offended -- first, that my report-to woman said to me "well, we wanted you to do it because you actually have a brain" (the implication, of course, being that the other temps don't, which is both rude and extremely weird). And second, and possibly more important, they're not paying me to have a brain. I mean, I took this temp gig because it handily fit into my free time before Christmas, not because it's exciting or pays well or anything. And now they're all "hey, we're paying you at Inventory and Filing, but we'd like you to be doing Accounting." If I were going to be there more'n two more days, I'd insist on a raise -- as it is, I'd feel silly saying "need raise for next eight hours ooops must go now."

ANYway. This news story made me so happy, and reminded me so of weird San Francisco politics: SF Supes vote to rename Bay Bridge for Emperor Norton. Yup. Emperor Norton, for those of you who don't know, was a mentally unstable man from the Gold Rush period who dressed in uniform and proclaimed himself Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico, charged fines of $25 for saying "Frisco," declared that the Republican and Democratic parties were dissolved, printed his own money, and mandated that a bridge should be built between Oakland and San Francisco. That last point being why his name may soon be on said bridge. (He's in Sandman, as well, for the sf/f geeks who are not history geeks.) Whee! Sample Emperor Norton proclamations:

Whereas we are informed that the screw which works the Clay Street Railroad is not strong enough for that purpose, and that it is, consequently, dangerous to the lives of the passengers; also that the dummy is a useless appendage. Now, therefore, the Directors of the company are hereby ordered to see that precautions are taken to make travel on said railroad perfectly safe by using a screw with at least twenty-four inches diameter.

It is represented to us that the universal suffrage, as now existing through the Union, is abused; that fraud and corruption prevent a fair and proper expression of the public voice; that open violation of the laws are constantly occurring, caused by mobs, parties, factions and undue influence of political sects; that the citizen has not that protection of person and property which he is entitled to by paying his pro rata of the expense of Government--in consequence of which, WE do hereby abolish Congress, and it is therefore abolished; and WE order and desire the representatives of all parties interested to appear at the Musical Hall of this city on the first of February next, and then and there take the most effective steps to remedy the evil complained of.

And, of course, Mark Morford.

All of which makes you wonder: how many more countries will it take? How many more nations will have to, for example, prove that gun licensing works, or that gay-marriage legislation is a moral imperative, or that health care for all is mandatory for a nation's well being, before America finally looks at itself and says, whoa, damn, we are so silly and small and wrong? Is there any number large enough? After the announcement that gay Chinese and gay Russians may legally marry and grow lovely gardens of marijuana as they all get free dental care, will America remain terrified of nipples and queers?

Comments

[sineala.livejournal.com]

Whoa, the Emperor Norton bridge?

That is so cool. I had to steal your link and make a post about it. :)

[eruthros]

Yay!

It saddens me, how few people know of Emperor Norton. I mean, he's really the FOUNDING uber-liberal fruit and nut, you know? He stopped race riots by non-violent means (conspicuous prayer to make the attackers look bad). Eversocool.