I like everything but the non-traditional, non-normative, gross and icky stuff!

[eruthros]

Reading yuletide letters is generally a lot of fun; I get a sort of squishy fannish goodwill off most of them. But, well, here is the other part of reading lots of yuletide letters. I've pulled out some quotes about kink and loosely organized them into three general boundary-policiing themes behind the cuts, but they will otherwise be reproduced largely without comment:

Type 1: Normal and Not-Normal

In addition to that, I like most terrible kinky things with the exception of anything really gross or freaky.

Dislikes [...] gross or humilating sex acts (BASICALLY: no excrement, no bestiality)

My squicks include: incest, incest, and well, incest. Oh and the really gross stuff like necrophilia, golden showers, bestiality, scat-play, blood-play, pretty much... if it has a "play" attached, no thank you, seriously.

Beastiality, underage sex, and necrophilia are also out. Basically, just don't gross me out with those. Thanks!

And now, what squicks me: [...] Nasty BDSM. I am not into humiliation or hurt. I like my BDSM cooperative (both parties getting off) and fun-kinky, not "Oh, crap, what" kinky.

I have some surefire squicks: rimming. felching. traditional squicks (ie, scat, necro, watersports, etc).

I have the same basic squicks as most people (necro, scat, golden showers)

My lines are dub-con and non-con and really bizarre fetishes

Will Not Read: Just your basic common-sense boundaries, like scat, graphic and/or fetishized rape, necrophilia, that kind of thing.

I'm not fond of most "kinky" sort of things-- chan, incest, violence, the usual laundry list.

And if things get porny - plain ol' vanilla sex is great, but I'm not too easily squicked and I don't mind mild to moderate kinks (everything from toys, to food play, to mild BDSM). [...] Some things that are generally considered 'icky' ... probably best to avoid if you don't mind.

If you do decide to write some sex, please steer away from strange kinks.

I also prefer not to have any really out-there kinks.

Some general things I dislike: [...] Really out-there kinks.

I don't like character bashing, humiliation, excessive emo-ness or neediness, completely unhappy or hopeless endings or gratuitous over-kinkiness.

I'm not really fond of PWP, though. Except sub/dom. I don't know why, sub/dom is FUNNY.

[...] sex that requires a safe word or an instruction manual would probably also be better left for another day

As for what I DON'T want: BDSM or any type of kink that would require a warning

And please: no noncon, incest, chan, bestiality, or any kind of kink that requires its own warning.

Type 2: What Does That Even Mean?

It kind of goes without saying (to me) that since I didn't request NC-17 kinkfic, non-con or any of that extreme stuff, you won't be writing any, so listing any squicks feels kind of redundant. Like I could say "plz don't kill anybody" but hardly anybody gets an idea for the fic and that idea is "kill half the requested characters", you know?

Things I would really prefer not to read are rapefic, noncon, AUs, scat, mpreg, incest, anything more extreme than very light BDSM and/or kink

I’m also not into fluffy domestic bliss, extreme BDSM, or mpreg

Squicks: incest, non-con or underage sex, scat, bestiality, Mpreg, major violence or extreme BDSM. Touches of BDSM are fine.

General dislikes: character bashing, extreme kink

I admit to not being particularly fond of mpreg or some of the more extreme kinks

General dislikes: [...] extreme kink

no extreme kinks, like BDSM (very light power play is fine), watersports, noncon/dubcon, etc

The only real squicks I have are incest, mpreg, rape - although gray area consent is fine, and other extreme kinks.

I would prefer not to read stories with graphic violence, rape or noncon, dubious consent, child abuse, pregnancy or mpreg, or extreme kinks

don't get too extreme/hardcore with kinks

Here are some things I really don't like in fic: [...] serious bdsm

I'd rather not have any deaths or non-con/dub-con in my fic ... or any extreme BDSM stuff. Basically, no heavy kinks ... ;)

Squicks: [...] heavy BDSM

As long as there's no heavy BDSM, I'm fine. Oh, and definitely no Dom/sub stuff for me.

in terms of sexytimes if they happen, I do not enjoy non-orgasmic bodily fluids (bloodplay, scat, watersports), heavy BDSM

I don't really like heavy bdsm, non-con, death fic, or scat and anything of that sort.

I'm not that keen on [...] heavy BDSM

There are a few things I don't like, too: betrayal/adultery, humiliation, possessiveness, non-con, incest, heavy bsdm.

I'm squicked by many heavy kinks

Things I generally prefer not to read [...]: heavy kink

I don't want anything with a terribly unhappy ending, threesome, or heavy kink, please.

DISLIKES! [...] Things that get much kinkier than light bdsm.

really hardcore kinky is also not my thing

No BDSM or hardcore kinks, please

Stuff I don’t like: this list is really short, as I’m pretty hard to squick :) Hardcore kinks. Mpreg.

no major squicks except incest and really hardcore kinks

General dislikes: I'm not really into hardcore kink, or non-con, or humiliation.

Dislikes: mpreg, non-con, hardcore bdsm

hardcore BDSM mostly makes me laugh.

Dislikes include - any sort of non-con, BDSM (if it's mild it's okay but anything hardcore just doesn't work for me), incest of any kind, bloodplay and ... I think that's about it, actually.

the next rung of that ladder would be the "not my cup of tea" level, including hardcore bdsm, torturefic, mpreg, and genderfuck.

Things I Don't Like: Really intense violence, torture, non-con, hardcore BDSM, non-canon death, etc. I think you can get the idea.

squicks: death, mpreg, hardcore fetishes and heavy bdsm, humiliation, rape/noncon, extreme gore.

My only real squicks are non-con and hard kink (BDSM).

I'd prefer to avoid noncon and most hard kink

When it comes to kinky stuff, I don’t like anything too hard and extreme

There are very few things that I absolutely don't like, so here's a short list: dub-con/rape, infidelity, hard kinks, pregnancies and co.

would rather no femslash and no very strong kink

I don't really like super-kinky things

There are only a very few things that I really DON'T like to read in a fic, and avoid whenever I can [...] Seriously Kinky Sex

I don't mind sex, as long as it's not excessively kinky

I prefer my smut not exceptionally kinky.

nothing too kinky, please

My turn-offs are OOC, non-con and rape, uke-seme clichés, stuff that's too kinky like BDSM

there is such a thing as too much kink (keep it light if you go that route, please)

I enjoy some good smut: slash, femmeslash, het, threesomes, all pairings are welcome. But as for the acts themselves, I don't care for anything too kinky (No bondage, dom/sub, really any practice suffixed with the word -play).

I also don't like the more out there types of porn. So please, no pegging or felching or anything more out there than a little light bondage

Type 3: No Scat, Please

General things I really don't like [...] watersports kink (dude, just ew)

No poop or pee, please.

About the only things I won't read are character bashing, dub/non-con, any kind of sex involving pee or poop, furry/anthro fic, or deathfic.

I'm not particularly into bodyswap, genderswap, mpreg, hurt/comfort or things involving urine and poop.

My only squicks are watersports/scat/Roman showers, incest, and underage

please no scat or watersports.

Things That Make Me...Less Happy [...] Scat, golden showers and beastiality. Perhaps a rare thing to be offered during Yuletide, or any general challenge for that matter, but I like to cover my bases.

Things I don't particularly like: incest, rapefic & nonconsensual sex scenes meant to titillate, mpreg, watersports, scat

3) Just say no to the following kinks: scat, water sports, felching, necrophilia, bestiality
4) Just say no to the following fandom subgenres: mpreg, wingfic, gender switch

General Dislikes: Gratuitous angst. Crossovers. Character death. Self-mutilation. Non-con, dub-con, rape, or anything in that spectrum. Scat. Watersports. M!Preg.

I don't want scat or golden showers or vomit.

I'm pretty squicked by watersports and blood play.

Dislikes (please do not include): - Scat, watersports, bestiality, infantalism

As for squicks, those would have to be as follows: extreme pedophilia, geriatriphilia, scat, water sports, bestiality, the likes.

Dislikes. [...] - Rape, mpreg, watersports.

Things that squick me: [...] bloodplay/waterplay/scatplay/bestiality/necrophilia

I do have squicks, however. Death stories, dub-con, non-con/rape, domestic discipline, scat play, blood play or watersports are the major ones.

General Dislikes: Mpreg, furry, het, pedo, scat

please try to avoid watersports, scat, dubcon, noncon and rapefic

Some things I don't like are: rape, slavery, gratuitous unhappy endings, infidelity, scat, watersports, and generally depressing things.

I'd appreciate it if you didn't include scat, vomit, water sports, non-con, dub-con and underage characters paired with adults.

Kinks/things I don't like: Daddy/puppy/pony play. Drug use. Humiliation. Necrophilia. Genderswitch. Songfics. Incest. Male pregnancy. Scat. Waterspots. Extreme/hard bondage or BDSM.

In general, I dislike death fic, unresolved angst, non-con, rape, cheating, bdsm, scat, watersports,

Things I am not so fond of: Incest, BDSM, scat, watersports or necrophilia.

If you end up writing sex, please keep it between consenting adults, and a little bit of kink is fine, but I dislike non-con, dub-con, scat, and watersports.

I'll be very much obliged if you could possibly avoid the following: Rape (can't read it at all), incest, infidelity, golden showers/scat/munging

[...] and no munging whatever that is.

I’m also pretty prudish so please nothing particularly kinky like scat, watersports etc. Also, weird fandom things like mpreg? No thank you.

Squicks: vomit, scat, mpreg, non-con

when it comes to sex stuff I don't like necrophilia or anything that deals with bodily excrement.

Things that will squick me out are adultery, self-harm, incest, kinks involving bodily fluids other than semen (i.e. vomit, urine, feces, ect.)

What I don't like? Hm...I don't like chan/incest, hardcore BDSM, bestiality, any bodily fluids other than ones normally found in sex, death, darkfic or excessive humiliation/embarrassment.

As for generalities, I don't like non-con, anything with bodily fluids not generally associated with sex,

Squicks: scat/water-sports/bloodplay/bodily fluids

no fluids that aren't sexual, no falling in love with rapists, no explicit D/s - bondage is fine though

Things I really dislike are [...] things that touch my squicks or triggers. These include scat, body secretions, vomit

I do not like [...] sex that involves bodily functions [Me: No breathing! No orgasm!]

[Okay, I lied. One comment: seriously, how often do people write watersports for people who haven't asked for it in fic exchanges? I have seen two scat stories in my entire fannish life, and I have read a lot of kink fic. So, since the answer is pretty much never, what are people really defending against here?]

Comments

[blushingflower]

if it has a "play" attached, no thank you, seriously.

OK, fine, no knifeplay, no fireplay, no waxplay, but also, no foreplay? Lots of things have "play" attached.

I shouldn't read this post, because I know that people are allowed to like whatever they like, but I sometimes can't help but be offended when people say they're squicked by things I don't just like to read about, but like to do.

But this one made me laugh: I’m also not into fluffy domestic bliss, extreme BDSM, or mpreg. If someone wrote me a Yuletide (or other) story that featured both extreme BDSM and fluffy domestic bliss, I would cradle it to my bosom and love it forever. (Mpreg's not my thing, though I would be cool with it if it was done well)


My Yuletide letter ends with "So aim for sweet, or silly, or really really dirty, and we'll be all good (if you can get all three in the same story, I'll kiss your feet)." There are specific sex acts I sometimes don't like to read, but I usually save that detailed a list of turn-ons and turn-offs for people I'm actually considering sleeping with.

I can understand saying you don't like a particular sub-genre or common fandom trope, because those things pop up, and given free rein I might write a hurt/comfort D/s fic that ended with fluffy domestic bliss and lots of kinky sex, because to me that would be a perfect story (and a perfect life). But some of the "no watersports" or whatever is, IMHO, a way of saying "I'm open-minded, but not a freak." You see it within the kink community too: Peruse fetlife or similar sometime and you'll see a lot of "my limits are the usual" which means "watersports, scat, and kids." Though sometimes replace "blood" for "watersports". Of course, you also see people saying they like bondage, spanking and sexy leather outfits but "nothing too extreme" in this way that comes across as judgmental of people who like humiliation or bloodplay or whatever.

My only hard limit in fic is bad writing.

[eruthros]

You are totally right -- it's totally about indicating "open-minded but not a freak." Instead of saying, quite reasonably, these are things I like/these are things I don't like. It's totally that kind of boundary policing that makes me sad.

As gloss points out below, no -play sort of means "no fun." (No nippleplay!)

I think there should be more fluffy domestic extreme BDSM! It would be awesome!

Also: I think that a lot of people really don't think of kinky as an identity category. It's just a set of practices, right? So when people say "extreme kinks are icky," I don't think they realize that they are saying, by implication, not just that I have gross kinds of sex, but that I am myself gross. And if just one person said it, I'd be like "well, whatever," but when I page through the yuletide letters and over and over and over something that is really important to me is treated like something disgusting, something extra people just put into stories for shock value not because they like it, I feel ... ugh.

[blushingflower]

I think you're right about people not thinking about it as an identity category. But it totally is. And even if it weren't, if you constantly saw people writing that they hated your favorite kind of food- not just hated it, but thought it was gross- it might start bugging you and making you feel judged. Sex is the same.

And yeah, I don't write kink into stories just for kicks. I based two of my kink_bingo stories on sex I've actually had (actually, I think I base pretty much all the sex I write on sex I've actually had) and would gladly have again. (I didn't write Venus/Virgin Mary double-fisting just for the shock value) Yeah, there's stuff I'll read and possibly write that I think should stay fantasy (I have a big non-con kink, for example), but that's not the same as simply trying to shock readers.