eruthros: A panel from a 1950s educational comic book showing a communist deflating -- I mean, blowing up, the Washington Monument (Communists!)
[personal profile] eruthros
... because we started watching it on Netflix while [personal profile] chagrined was here, and have kept watching it because it is lolz. It's right in that space of fluctuating nostalgia-sincerity-lolz-irony that some shows manage to hit - we laugh at it and we sing along and we predict the plot twists ([personal profile] thingswithwings likes to do Thor's dialogue a beat before he does, because he is very predictable) and we say "oh, that's not a bad idea at all" and we nostalgically go "awww, look, Ultron!" and we mock Tony Stark (not a hard task) and we hash out Ant Man's backstory ("no, seriously, Pym particles and biochemical wings. He does science!") and we pause the show and complain whenever Hawkeye appears to fly and we agree that Black Panther could totally take on the rest of the Avengers no problem (except maybe the Hulk) and we cheer on Nick Fury, Agent of SHIELD, and we roll around in the canon and basically have a good time.

So really, the credits sequence kind of encapsulates my whole Avengers: EMH nostalgia/lolz experience so far, so I thought I would embed it here. As you watch, imagine that you're sitting in a room with total dorks (us!) who are singing along in srs bzns rock music voices. Possibly one or more of us is headbanging, because why not.

Fight As One lyrics:
Our world's about to break
Tormented and attacked
Lost from when we wake
With no way to go back
I'm standing on my own
But now I'm not alone

Avengers! Assemble!

Always we will fight as one
Till the battle's won
With evil on the run
We never come undone

Assemble, we are strong
Forever fight as one
Assembled we are strong
Forever fight as one

Fight As One video description + lyrics
The video starts with a shot of lower Manhattan from above, with three plumes of smoke coming from buildings. It transitions to a city street, looking all serene and whatever, when suddenly two giant mechanical robot tentacles crash into the street! They are so giant that they shake the imaginary camera! Crossfade to a view of the tops of some skyscrapers, with a HYDRA robot walking down the street shooting at shit; the HYDRA robots are, per HYDRA, giant skulls on giant robotic tentacles, obv. Pull back to viewing multiple robots from inside a giant skyscraper aaaand start rocking out.

"Our world's about to break"
Camera pans along the windows of the skyscraper to look at a whole bunch of giant tentacle robots, plus a silhouette of one dude inside looking saaaaad. Based on his profile and his penthouse, it's probably Tony Stark being concerned about the world.
Then cut to the new lolarious Avengers Logo all animated! It is an A, with the horizontal bar turned into an arrow facing right and echoed by a bunch of arrowheads in a line all to the right.

"Tormented and attacked"
Close up on someone's eyes going green gamma-radiation-transformation-y (per Marvel standard transformation rules).
Just to make the point, cut to Bruce Banner shouting as he turns into the Hulk. (Also per Marvel standard transformation rules, he keeps his pants as cut-offs, but loses his hat, shirt, backpack, and the bits of his pants over his knees.)

"Lost from when we wake"
That shot of the Hulk turns into a digital frame that Tony Stark's hand whisks offscreen. Then omg Captain America's Shield comes whirling into frame! Could this line be about him? MAYBE. Especially since then it's a black-and-white shot of him from WWII that transitions into a color version of him doing Hero Pose With Shield in modern New York.

"There's no way to go back"
Lightning! Lots of lightning! Oh it's you, Thor. Well, actually, it's Mjolnir, his hammer, which is only fair since it does most of the work.
Then there's Thor in his lolz superhero outfit with giant cape shoulderpads, hovering over the water, flinging lightning at NYC and then flying over Asgard. Then Thor, too, turns into a digital panel that Tony Stark's hand flings offscreen...

"I'm standing on my own"
... finally bringing Tony Stark's face into focus from the side. He's standing in one of those scifi circular display things surrounded by little digital video panes showing the rest of the Avengers, which he is doing things to. TECHNICAL things. With his tech.

"But now I'm not alone"
The camera rotates around to show us Tony Stark's face, surrounded by all that digital video of his Avenger buddies. He's not alone anymore! Get it?
Zoom in on him as his suit goes on over his body and, eventually, closes over his face.

"Avengers! Assemble!"
Cut away from Iron Man's face to an incredibly phallic view of Stark towers - we know they're Stark towers because of how they say STARK down the side in giant letters, which is Tony Stark all over - with the Rainbow Bridge that Thor uses to get to Asgard making a beautiful horseshoe behind it. (Or, I mean, it could just be a random beautiful rainbow included for aesthetic reasons.)

"Always we will fight as one"
Iron man takes off from behind the tower. Then he goes to fight a giant tentacled HYDRA robot, which we see from inside his head's up display.
The camera zooms out of the display to look at the Hulk bashing the side of a robot's skull in. Then the skull-tentacle-robot explodes! (Probably Tony is also doing some fighting things, but you couldn't prove it by these credits.)

"Till the battle's won"
This starts with the explosion still filling the whole frame, then cuts to Iron Man flying off down the street at some other large-but-not-as-giant non-tentacled HYDRA robots shaped more or less like giant people except for the spikes and machine gun arms. There are many HYDRA robots on this show. The robots are firing out of their machine gun arms! Oh noes!

"With evil on the run"
But fortunately Captain America's vibranium shield zooms across, cutting through their machine gun arms, and then staying the focus of the camera in front of a blurred background.
Cut back to a distant shot of the ongoing fight, with Iron Man blasting towards the camera and Thor swinging Mjolnir around.

"We never come undone"
More big fight, now from a different angle! Thor takes off flying, the camera zooms around the Hulk's torso and legs as Wasp zooms by firing at shit, and then the camera backs up so we can see the Hulk holding one of the smaller robots above his head, and basically the frame is now very busy, perhaps to distract everyone from laughing at the lyrics. It has never worked for me.

"Assemble, we are strong" - that's right, it's in the imperative
The Hulk throws the giant robot! Ant Man runs past the UN building! Wasp's energy bolts go everywhere! Still in front of the UN building, Giant Man's foot (= Ant Man in giant form, see) comes from the top of the frame to stomp on one of the robots, because he is now VERY giant and the cube-square laws have never applied to the Marvel universe.

"Forever fight as one"
Pan up Ant Man's giant body! With what is probably supposed to be a skyscraper behind him (it looks like solar panels to me) and one of the really giant skull-tentacle robots standing above that. Lightning takes down that giant robot, woohoo!

"Assembled we are strong" - now it's a declarative sentence, so presumably they assembled during that last lyric
Thor and Iron Man swoop through the skies! Zoom in on Iron Man's chest! (Why not, the animators say.) Pull back to see them all standing there in Standard Superhero Lineup Pose: Hawkeye, the Hulk, Captain America, Iron Man, Giant Man, Wasp (regular size), Thor, and Black Panther. Two of those people basically don't show up elsewhere in the credits.

"Forever fight as one"
The Avengers turn into a black silhouette on a white background! The camera pulls back further - no, further - to show us the title screen with the Avengers standing on the crossbar of the A. Just to remind us that they work better when they fight as ONE, there's also a little logo in the corner that says Avengers Assemble.

So that is kind of the Avengers right there! Lolz/nostalgia/sincerity/irony/more lolz. But I do have more to say than that, so here are some more spoilery things about the Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes from about halfway through season one:

1) So far every time Tony/Iron Man has gotten angry, it's been because someone is using his tech. He says it just like that, his tech. So he sees bad guys and goes "hey! those guys are using my tech!" and doesn't mention how they're also, you know, killing people. So far this has extended to his anger at Black Panther for knowing how to use his computer system ("hey! how do you know how to use my tech?") and bonus "SHIELD is using my tech!" and other important intellectual property and patent infringement concerns.

Somehow, this man is in charge of the Avengers. Or at least he thinks he is. *facepalm*

2) Blank Panther seems to actually be in charge, in the sense that he manipulates people hilariously into doing what he wants. Including using the entire Avengers team as a distraction when he's fighting Man-Ape, and flat-out telling them so ... after they've crash-landed in a jungle and can't do anything about it.

3) Ant Man and Iron Man fight with each other about the proper use of science. All the viewers watching laugh and laugh. Also, Tony does a hostile takeover of another company, cause that company's owner to turn into a giant supervillain to get back at him. Obv. Hank Pym does not approve.

4) Oh, Thor, your shoulderpads are amazing, and so is your inconsistent ye olde englishe. But mostly, your cape shoulderpad things. Wow.

5) Wasp! Why must Ant Man almost always go giant in fights while you always go small? Why are you the only woman in the Avengers in the first season? Why have you had no episodes of your own yet and we're already on episode twenty? Why were you introduced solely in the same plots as Ant Man? Why must the camera keep filming you from behind at ass-level? Even when you're kicking ass and being awesome?

These are my important questions.

6) Speaking of, omg too many lady villains. Who are filmed from behind. At ass level. The dead certainty that Black Widow is actually on a deep cover mission or whatever and will turn out to be a good guy later on does not make up for the fact that so far all the women with superpowers are evil except for Janet. Argh.

7) And while we're at it, I love Black Panther because he is great and snarky and kicks ass, and I love Nick Fury in that ambiguous but-the-ends-don't-justify-the-means way (and regardless I love to watch him be cranky, which is his default setting) but, um, wow is this set of Avengers really white dudely. I mean, I understand that they're trying to ~call back~ to the early Avengers and all, but srsly.

8) Every time I get into a Marvel universe thing, I am once again astonished by how legal-panopticon their universe is. Like, forget the Patriot Act, SHIELD has tapped and is monitoring all communication in the U.S. or the world, I forget which. Whhhaaat.

9) Tony Stark provides the Avengers with a fancy mansion with training rooms and giant fireplace and flat-screen tv and inlaid-tile Avengers logo.

T'wings: How long do you think Tony Stark spent designing their logo? Chagrined: I think he had some intern do it. T'wings: Who is like, I have a masters in graphic design and I'm putting an A in a circle? Me: And Tony Stark is hovering over the graphic designer the whole time going, "no, no, put the A in the circle more, like, dynamically."

Also, we are fairly convinced that he had to subcontract to get tiles made to spec for that job.

Also, making fun of Tony Stark is practically my favorite part of this show.

10) The Hulk! I love his sense of humor in this version of the Avengers, and his dry amusement at watching Tony Stark lose fights with Captain America, and his dry amusement in other places too, and his friendship with Wasp and Black Panther. I am vaguely creeped out, though, by how much Bruce Banner isn't around at all - except for his origin story and one episode dealing with gamma radiation, iirc Bruce Banner hasn't showed up at all. It's a little weird/uncomfortable, especially because this show is doing the two-totally-separate-personalities thing, so it's like, okay, what's happened to Bruce then?

11) This just in: The Avengers will never come undone.

The thing is, I'm actually not very interested in the movieverse canon, or in Tony/Steve, which is the big pairing, so mostly I just plan to watch the show and do lolz and nostalgia at the moment.
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eruthros: Delenn from Babylon 5 with a startled expression and the text "omg!" (Default)

May 2017

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