Dear person who shares my last name,

[eruthros]

I suspect that you will find that no prospective dates contact you, no matter how many dating websites you join! I suspect that this might have something to do with the way you keep using my gmail address as your user name! Since I would have to log in to change the email address, and you inconsiderately didn't provide me with your password, you will likely find yourself dateless. And I will find myself hitting "report spam" a lot.

No love,
eruthros

PS: You overdrafted twice on your Wells Fargo account yesterday. You might want to look into that.

PPS: Also, can you get your mom to stop it with the email forwards? I had to make a filter just for her address.

Comments

[toft]

Seriously? And they haven't realized yet? Have you emailed them to tell them?

[eruthros]

Well, the only email address I have for them is mine! I emailed Wells Fargo about it, but I dunno if they're going to do anything.

[toft]

But you could email their mum, right?

[eruthros]

I could! Good point. I get really irritated about these things and just start huffily sending them to spam.

[toft]

Also, I think it would be a fitting revenge to be like, 'Dear so-and-so, your child keeps registering to dating websites in my name. Please tell them off, and also say that bigdick111 says to call them.'

[thingswithwings]

+1

[monanotlisa]

I can only speak for myself, but after some time, I just stopped. I told the first ten, twenty, thirty people; after that, I just hit "spam."

(Okay, fine - if someone were looking for a specific relative to donate bone marrow, I'd tell her or him.)

[eruthros]

Yeah, that too -- I could email everyone this person ever gave my email address to, and it would be her mom and her dating websites (which are do not reply anyway) and her bank and her buddies and etc. But in the past, when I've done the email-the-contacts thing people have sometimes reacted the same way as when they call and ask for Janet and Janet's not here -- "are you sure?" "but this is the number she gave me!" -- as if I am cruelly HIDING Janet from them and am a LYING LIAR. "But I need to get in touch with her!" ARGH. More trouble when it's worth.

Mostly now I just get irritated and delete things, unless it looks really crucial. ("Um, you just sent your funeral schedule to the wrong person.") But that's when I think the sender typoed an email address; in this case, when it's someone who is wrongly giving their address I fear "But this is what Janet TOLD me!"

I guess I'll email her mom, though.

[monanotlisa]

But in the past, when I've done the email-the-contacts thing people have sometimes reacted the same way as when they call and ask for Janet and Janet's not here -- "are you sure?" "but this is the number she gave me!" -- as if I am cruelly HIDING Janet from them and am a LYING LIAR. "But I need to get in touch with her!" ARGH. More trouble when it's worth.

I've had that too! Of course, my sarcasm-fu is strong and immediate on teh internets, so the exchange tends to stop pretty quickly. ;)

It'd be kind to email her mom, yeah, if not obligatory.

[toft]

When I first got my phone, I left it off for 24 hours and then I had 50 answering machine messages from people calling a guy called 'Alan', including what sounded like a very irate lady friend.

[monanotlisa]

I SO HEAR YOU ON THE FIRST PARAGRAPH - the Wells Fargo thing is something I have spam-foldered, in fact. Also, I should open one spam folder just for barbecue/wedding/assorted get-togethers.

"I went on the internet once, but everyone's spelling was really bad; it was depressing."

[eruthros]

OH GOD YES. Too many barbecues!

[amadi]

I've gotten everything from some guy's illegal Indonesian steroid purchase confirmation to numerous dating site e-mails. Someone signed up for e-freaking-Homophobic-Harmony with my address, so I went and got their password and filled out their "personality profile" for them, since they hadn't, and made them an angry, depressed, aggressive, insecure, insensitive crank who was 4'10", harbored bisexual tendencies and was desperate for immediate marriage.

What can I say, I had time on my hands.

[sabinetzin]

Oh man. I only ever reply to mis-sent emails to my firstname.initial.lastname gmail address (and I get a lot of them, because my name is COMMON AS DIRT in America) if it seems they came from little old ladies who are just figuring out what the interbox does.

I feel sorry for the little old ladies. Everybody else can go hang.

[theleaveswant]

See, I'm pretty sure all the people in this universe with my last name are related to me, so when people mistakenly email me it's pretty easy to pass them on the correct uncle or cousin. Unexpected upside of forced surname anglicization?

[torachan]

I don't understand how people have so much trouble remembering their own email address. I mean, seriously!